I’ve finished reading my second book over the past two months and I feel proud of myself. I make time to read a chapter a day. I stick to it (most days) This one action is a key piece of evidence towards rebuilding my internal identity as someone who is disciplined. I still have much to learn, but I’m stacking small wins to help me embody the man I wish to be. -Rasheed McRay

Stack small wins and stack a ton of them. Each win counts as evidence to support your internal self-concept of someone who is becoming more charismatic every day. The journey is a marathon, not a sprint. Take your time. -Rasheed McRay

When I first started to build my social skills, I made an effort to talk to cashiers more like people instead of a just a business transaction. I asked what they liked, made a joke or two, asked them about their day, and kept a light hearted energy each time. This, not only, helped me improve my social skills, but even got me some free stuff every now and again! Free food, free coffee, free upgrades to my order and more! Talk to the cashier like they’re a friend. It’s good practice and you might get something too. -Rasheed McRay

There are days where I find my internal state or mood to feel a bit... off. And I am a big advocate of how you feel inside, is how you come across outside. Today is one of those days. I wake up around 9am and I was still tired from my terrible sleep habits. I got some food, watched some YouTube videos on social dynamics and I felt pretty good, however I noticed that I was feeling a bit out of it. I have a pool party to get to later today and I don't want to feel the same way once I'm there. I want to be in the moment and enjoy myself, however if I know myself, I'll need to do somethings that make me proud of myself in order to get there. Posting in here is one of those things since I want to play a more active role in this community. Going to the gym is another activity that makes me feel good about myself. A bit of caffeine, some reading, and meditation will help me get in the right head space. This is where I will tell you how you can succeed in your social interactions. Do things that make you proud of yourself. Treat yourself with love and compassion and your positive energy will leak onto those around you. You'll feel good and so will they. I want to live up to what I preach so as I finish this and my tea, I'll be on my way to the gym. -Rasheed McRay

I realized that if my reason for building confidence was to be more accepted by other people, then at its core, my confidence would rely on how I was perceived and treated by others. If someone laughed at what I said, I felt good. If they stared at me with confusion, I doubted myself. That isn't confidence. It's people pleasing that uses confidence as a disguise. Confidence shows up more in how you treat yourself. Not by how you interact with other people. Once I realized this, I allowed myself to hold back on my people pleasing tendencies. I spoke up more, I rejected more invitations, I declined more requests, not because I was a bad person, but because I was prioritizing how I felt and what mattered to me. This doesn't mean I've gotten rid of my people pleasing entirely though. It's part of who I am, I like to see people happy and it's even part of the reason why I started this community, but I set boundaries to not compromise myself. This took some time to work on and I'm still working on it, however the change in how I feel about myself has been transformative. -Rasheed McRay