Aug 8 (edited) • Community Discussion
If You’ve Tried Everything and Still Feel Stuck, This Is For You
You’ve done the therapy.
Read the books.
Tried breath-work, cold plunges, journaling, maybe even cacao ceremonies.
You've explored your past, unpacked your childhood, and gained more insight than most people ever will.
And still… something isn’t shifting.
I’ve been there too, I know how frustrating it is when insight and motivation alone isn’t enough.
That’s not because you’re broken, it's because the blocker isn’t just in your mind, it's stored in your body.
True healing doesn’t come from more knowledge or thinking. It comes from creating safety in the nervous system and updating the body’s programming.
When your body feels safe, your patterns start to change.
For real. For good!
Let’s talk about what actually works when you've tried everything and find yourself longing for something to change.
🛋️ TRADITIONAL TALK THERAPY
Is incredibly effective for:
• Building awareness
• Navigating relationships
• Improving communication
• Managing stress
• Making sense of life transitions
But here’s the thing...many of us carry unresolved wounds from the past that we don’t even recognize as trauma.
Maybe you didn’t experience a “major” event.
Maybe you were the one who kept the peace.
Or had to earn love to feel safe.
Served as the parent.
Comforted your caretaker.
Or felt unseen or emotionally alone.
These experiences might not seem traumatic, but they shape your nervous system and those experiences get stored in your body, informing your decisions and reactions even years later.
Those past experiences could be quietly blocking you from the peace, joy, and connection you’ve been working so hard to create.
🧠 WHY YOU GET STUCK (EVEN WHEN YOU KNOW BETTER)
Research shows trauma is not just psychological, it’s physiological. It’s stored in the body, in places your thinking mind can’t reach. It makes sense. When you're afraid, your heart races. When you're angry, you feel a surge of energy. When you're depressed, you feel exhausted. Your body speaks what your mind can’t always explain.
Dr. Bessel van der Kolk found that during a trauma response:
• Your thinking brain (prefrontal cortex) goes offline
• Your emotional and survival brain take over
So even when you understand your patterns your body may still react like you’re under threat.
💥 That’s why you keep repeating what you thought you already healed. Not because you’re broken, but because your system is still protecting you the only way it knows how.
✨ WHERE TRUE BREAKTHROUGH AND HEALING HAPPENS
After decades of research, scientists discovered something remarkable: your nervous system has an incredible capacity to heal and rewire itself throughout your entire life. This requires approaches that work directly with the body and nervous system, not just the thinking mind.
🔬 THE SCIENCE BEHIND REAL HEALING
Dr. Stephen Porges’ Polyvagal Theory explains that your nervous system is constantly scanning for safety or threat, usually without you even realizing it.
When it senses danger, it triggers automatic survival responses:
⚔️ Fight
🏃♂️ Flight
🧊 Freeze
💐 Fawn
These responses aren't flaws. They're adaptations. They were built to protect you from danger. But over time, that protection system can get stuck in old programming, triggering alarms when there's no real threat.
That's why you might find yourself chasing, overgiving, saying yes when you mean no, shutting down, yelling, running, fighting, or defending.
🧠 THE GOOD NEWS!
Thanks to neuroplasticity, your brain and body can rewire. But not through insight alone.
Real change comes through experience.
✅ WHAT ACTUALLY WORKS
The solution isn’t just moving your body or slowing your breath. It’s about listening.
Your body is speaking. Every tension, every shutdown, every surge is a signal - pointing you toward the parts of you that were never seen, never heard, never held. Parts that are still longing to be healed and feel safe.
When we tune in and respond, not just with tools, but with presence, we guide those parts back to safety.
Here’s what actually helps regulate your nervous system and release stored trauma.
This could look like:
👂 Inner Listening & Emotional Integration - Gives voice to the parts of you that were silenced, rejected, or forgotten. → Transforms shame, fear, and grief into self-trust and clarity.
🫂 Co-regulation - Safe connection with others helps your nervous system learn that it's okay to settle.
→ Heals attachment wounds and builds trust in connection.
🧠 Mindfulness Practices - Teaches the mind to witness without judgment, creating space between stimulus and response. → Improves emotional resilience and reduces chronic stress.
👤 Somatic Experiencing - Helps you gently track body sensations and resolve stored trauma at the nervous system level. → Up to 85% reduction in trauma symptoms.
💃 Movement & Rhythm - Uses natural rhythms like shaking, swaying, or dance to discharge stuck survival energy. → Restores a sense of vitality and grounded presence.
🧘♀️ Breathwork - Regulates the autonomic nervous system by shifting your state through conscious breathing. → Lowers anxiety, improves mood, and creates internal spaciousness.
💾 Updating the Body’s Programming - Through felt safety and repetition, your nervous system learns a new baseline, one that doesn't mistake discomfort for danger. → Stops old alarms from hijacking your peace.
These tools work because they go where trauma lives, in the body.
I remember the first time I did this kind of work, it changed everything. One hour had more impact on me than ten years of therapy. And I had incredible therapists. I learned a lot, grew a lot, gained so much insight.
But traditional talk therapy isn’t designed to reach the deeper layers, the trapt or forgotten experiences your nervous system stored as survival data. It can’t access what your body never felt safe enough to release.
🛠️ TRY THIS
This isn’t just about calming down. It’s about noticing where your body is stuck in an old script and starting to rewrite it.
Here are some simple, powerful steps to begin:
1. Notice the Old Movie Playing
Pause and ask: What am I feeling right now and when have I felt this way before?
That tension, shutdown, or urgency might not be about now. It's likely a familiar scene from your past replaying.
2. Locate It in Your Body
Close your eyes. Where do you feel it: chest, gut, throat? Gently put your hand there.
Say: I feel you. I’m here now. You’re safe with me. I am not going anywhere. I see you. I hear you.
3. Listen Instead of Fixing
Let the sensation or emotion speak. If it had a message, what would it say? You're not analyzing it you're listening like you would to a younger version of yourself who just wants to be heard.
4. Introduce a New Scene
Ask: What would safety look like in this moment? Instead of reacting, imagine responding from calm, clarity, and confidence. Visualize your calm, confident self stepping in.
5. Choose One Small Action
Regulate through movement, breath, or connection - but do it as a way of honoring what you just uncovered. Not to shut it down, but to integrate it.
Healing isn't a technique. It's a relationship with your body, your story, and your true self.
Each time you interrupt the old pattern and choose presence, you're rewriting the script.
You’re not stuck because you haven’t tried hard enough. You’ve just been using tools that don’t reach where the real work lives.
You’re not lazy, broke or incapable.
If you're looking for something that creates real, lasting change - The Calm Code offers the foundation. In coaching, we build on that foundation with deeper work that supports both your nervous system and the emotional patterns, beliefs, and experiences that shape how you show up in life.
We go to the root, meet it where it lives, give it what it never got, speak new truth into it, and create the safety it’s been waiting for.
What do you think? Are you ready to explore a new way of healing - one grounded in science, real-world results, and proven success?
This is the work that changed my life, saved my marriage, and helped me become the father I always knew I could be. It’s why I do what I do and am passionate about helping you!
💬 I would love to hear from you in the comments or DM 👇 💬
Have you hit a wall in your healing journey?
What have you tried that helped - or didn’t?
Sources:
- Neuroscience of Trauma in the Body: https://iptrauma.org/docs/body-of-knowledge-of-psychotraumatology/how-the-body-keeps-the-score-and-neuroscience-of-trauma-in-the-body
- Polyvagal Theory: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9131189
0
0 comments
If You’ve Tried Everything and Still Feel Stuck, This Is For You
powered by
skool.com/weightless-5099
Still stuck after therapy? This space helps you stop spirals, anxiety, and shutdown - and live with calm, clarity, and confidence.
Suggested communities
Powered by