message to anyone dealing with anxiety

This is a letter to my past self + anyone who might be dealing with “anxiety”

For most of last year I carried this low grade hum of stress I couldn’t name.

It wasn’t sadness, nor was it burnout. On paper nothing was wrong, but I’d wake up at 3 a.m. with my mind racing, sit down to work and feel paralyzed by all the directions I could go, and finish a productive day still feeling like nothing I did mattered.

I labeled myself as “type A”, that I always have to be doing something. I labeled myself as “anxious”

I tried meditation apps, long walks, gratitude journals. They helped at the surface. But underneath the surface, the hum remained.

It was this pull on my chest, that wasn’t allowing me to ever feel fulfilled, I always needed to be somewhere.

Then I came across this quote from a podcast that changed my perspective:

“General ambition creates anxiety. Specific ambition creates direction.”

And I could suddenly see it.

My business goal was “grow the business.” My health goal was “get in better shape.” My personal goal was “be happier.”

Each one offered a dozen possible paths and zero way to choose between them.

No wonder I was spinning. I’d given myself infinite options and no map to follow.

So I forced myself to get painfully specific.

“Grow the business” became sign four UGC clients at $2,500 per month by March using Instagram outreach to SaaS brands.

“Get in shape” became go to the gym three times per week and follow the same three meals per day.

“Be happier” became dinner with a friend twice a month, phone out of the bedroom, 10 minutes of journaling + meditation every morning.

The moment I wrote those down my shoulders dropped. I wasn’t so “stiff”, always anxious and looking for the next move, but I was actually living in the present moment

And here’s the part that I can only look back after taking months off reflecting on what had actually happened:

I’d been keeping my goals vague on purpose. And I was keeping it vague on an unconscious level to protect myself.

Because “grow the business” is a goal you can never technically fail at. Post one reel? You’re growing. This vagueness wasn’t “laziness”, it was an unconscious self projected safety net because I knew if I were to actually set “specific and measurable goals”, I’d have to live up to that.

It was a shield against measurable failure.

And the shield itself was creating the anxiety. There’s a huge difference between feeling “anxious” and having “anxiety”. Understanding how to beat your anxiety comes from understanding your unconscious desires and how your “brain” might be optimizing for safety instead of growth.

Cognitive dissonance is one of the causes of anxiety, it’s when you want to “grow”, but your unconscious desires wants to “safety”

You have to let go of your unconscious and tell yourself that you “are safe” and that chasing your goals is not a threat.

The way your unconscious mind works is exactly like your CNS- the central nervous system. It’s the signal system between your brain and your muscles.

It’s not just about how much muscle you have, it’s about how many of those muscle fibers your brain can actually turn on at once. That’s why someone smaller can sometimes lift more weight than someone bigger is because they have a stronger “CNS”

But your body will only recruit full strength if it feels safe. In the gym, if a weight feels dangerous or unstable, your body holds back to protect you.

It needs to feel secure and have permission before it fully fires.

In the same way, anxiety is not always about how much potential or ambition you have. It is about whether your brain has permission and feels safe to hit the goal. When the signal is scattered, everything feels tense and heavy. When it is focused and feels safe, your strength can and will finally show up.

Too many options, no clear next step, and a quiet suspicion I wasn’t actually moving forward. Because I wasn’t.

A few months in, I haven’t hit every target perfectly. Two clients instead of four. Eight pounds instead of twelve. But I know exactly where I stand, what’s working, and what to do next.

That clarity erased the hum. It wasn’t bc it was easier but because I finally stopped navigating without a map.

If you recognize that unnamed weight, try this before you call it anxiety: write down your three biggest goals and make them specific enough to fail at. The weight you’re carrying might just be your brain begging for direction.

Anxiety is too broad of a word. When you leave it undefined, it feels bigger than it is.

The devil hides in plain sight, inside the fog of vagueness. Inside the questions you won’t ask yourself, inside the “broad labels” you identify with.

When you cannot name the thing, you cannot face it, so it quietly runs the show. Unconsciously.

You have to clear the fog. You have to drag the fear from the darkness not the light and give it a shape, a number, a deadline.

Once the invisible becomes visible, it shrinks. What felt like a demon in the dark becomes a target you can stand in front of.

The moment you turn the lights on, the monster loses its power.

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message to anyone dealing with anxiety