Jun '25 • General Discussion
"I want everything to stop. I want to remember"
This quote from "The Game" hits hard.
Ken Dryden, the author, pleads against time to show mercy during the final months of his final season as a professional athlete. He's decided to retire, the realization of the true consequences of that decision are now becoming more clear as the time slowly ticks toward finality. No matter the outcome of the season, this is the ultimate competition he's fighting a losing battle against in the dying seconds of 'The Game.'
As a historian, philosopher, and parent the idea and experience of time is of crucial importance to me. I try my best to sense time, how it shapes experience, and where I'm able to assert a semblance of control over it day by day. My best work comes during the training often, though not exclusively. Like Dryden I'm desperate to try and slow the wheel of time that churns us forward and around at the same time so that I can take it all in for memory. I want to bathe in the memory of the experience and the depth of my present realization of it determines that future experience as well. It's all connected.
Today I ran fast, and that always has the ability to help me slow down time and grasp the moment. You have nothing else to focus on except pain, step, and breath, almost always that order. I get a full sense of myself, almost able to be on the outside of the experience. I'm able to 'see it clearly' for my mind's eye to create not just a memory but a deep tapestry of recall for a later experience. This then helps me find the present so I can act as I desire and live by my principles.
Applying that presence today meant buying our beach pass and picking my kids up to go and swim in the lake on the hottest day of the year so far (89/33). After the run I went and signed up our family for the year at a beach close to our house and my kids school. There's nothing better than a cold dip in the Lake on a hot day after a great run, especially a fast one that makes you sweat and sweat. Time ended up slipping away from me a bit and I wasn't able to get a quick cool down in the water before having to pick the kids up from school. Instead you just sweat and pick them up so you can all go in together.
My enthusiasm for nature came through in reminding my daughter how much she loves the cold water. She initially didn't want to go in and changed into regular clothes and not a bating suit when we first arrived at the beach after school pickup. But I kept telling her how much she'd regret not taking advantage of a perfect hot day to at least have the option to go in the water. She changed her mind and into the swimsuit and we headed down together the three of us, all ready to go. Little man needed no convincing to put his bathing suit on, ha!
We get to have the BEST after school day ever. It's hot and we have to walk down this big hill to the lake, down these imposing stone steps that wind around the final cliff side and out onto the beach where you can see Lake Michigan the entire time. Immediately we all go to the water and swim together, I dip under a bunch, and we just enjoy the waters edge regardless of anyone else around us.
It might as well have been just the three of us and the water, total presence, total joy, total alignment and purpose.
All three of us wished we could have stopped time, but at least now, because of writing and sharing this I'll be able to remember a little bit better all the beautiful things about being able to run free, and then share a taste of nature with my kids no matter what time might have to say about it.
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"I want everything to stop. I want to remember"
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