I could have money in the bank and still feel like collapse was right around the corner.
A couple of years ago, I knew I needed support in my business.
The investment was big. Five figures.
Objectively? I could afford it.
Strategically? It made sense.
Internally? I was stuck.
I delayed. Rechecked my numbers. Hesitated daily.
Not because it was reckless—
but because my body didn’t trust stability.
Every thought sounded the same:
What if this backfires?
What if I’m careless?
When I finally committed, relief didn’t come.
Shame did.
Because growing up, investing in yourself like that wasn’t an option.
Survival was.
So even now—having built, earned, achieved—
part of me still waits for loss.
No one teaches you how to feel safe with success.
No one teaches you how to choose yourself without panic.
Survival trains you to hold everything together.
For everyone else.
At your own expense.
Freedom isn’t positive thinking.
It’s learning a skill you were never shown.