Feb 16 • General discussion
I left so she could love in peace (True story)
In the middle of fire my own mother said
“she wish I was never born “
And heaven heard it.
Not whispered.
Not sugar coated But thrown like a stone
at a daughter already cracking.
I was a teenager acting out.
That’s what they called it.
But nobody ever asked
why my spirit was screaming.
I wasn’t rebellious.
I was hungry.
Hungry for her arms.
Hungry for her approval.
Hungry for one moment
where she chose me
without sighing first.
They said I was the reason
her new marriage was shaking.
The reason they argued.
The reason peace wouldn’t stay.
So I carried that blame like a cross too heavy for a child to drag.
And I did something
no daughter should ever have to do
I sacrificed myself
on the altar of her happiness.
I left.
Not because I didn’t love her.
But because I loved her
more than I loved myself.
I walked away so she could smile at her husband without my name in the middle.
So the house could be quiet.
So she wouldn’t have to choose
between me and the life she wanted.
And God You saw me pack that pain.
You saw me pretend I wasn’t breaking.
You saw the little girl inside me
fold herself smaller and smaller
until she fit into abandonment.
I learned that day that love meant leaving first.
That if I stayed, I was a burden.
That if I disappeared,maybe I would finally be loved.
But here’s the truth
I was never too much.
I was just too wounded
to hide it quietly.
And maybe my acting out
was really my soul begging not to be replaced.
God, heal the part of me
that still feels unwanted
when voices get loud.
Heal the girl who chose exile
just to keep the peace.
Because I didn’t leave to be dramatic.
I left because I thought
that’s what love required.
And no child should ever have to prove
their worth by disappearing.
~butterfly ~
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I left so she could love in peace (True story)
