Love Isn't a Relationship Status

🔥

Ah, here I am again talking about love 🙂

But what is love?

I've posted about love so many times. Love for self, love for others, unconditional love… the whole spectrum.

But when I sit down these days—really sit, breathe, and drop into the heart centre—I keep noticing something. Most of us are walking around with a pretty wonky idea of what love actually is.

Oh my… what am I letting myself in for now? I can already hear the comments: 'Rubbish post!' or 'Love is clearly…' 😉

But here goes anyway.

To me, love is everything. Love is with us from the moment we're conceived...our mother's body gives us life through love. Then we're born, and we receive love from parents, siblings, family. Then later, from friends, colleagues, the kindness of strangers, the unexpected grace of a difficult experience.

Love is all around. So we should be happy, right?

And yet.

The next time you're sitting with your dog or your cat, just pause. Feel their energy. Notice the sensation of them being with you. A dog's love? Unconditional, always, no strings attached. Cats? Well, they have their own beautiful, mysterious opinions on life. They'll offer their love when they're ready, and honestly, there's a kind of wisdom in that too. They teach us about consent, about presence, about not forcing anything.

Then take a long, honest look at your life. Where is your love right now? How do you show it? Do you love yourself? And I don't mean how you look in the mirror, though that matters too, because you matter.

I mean deep down. Do you love who you are? What do you stand for? The direction you're moving in, even if it's slow and messy?

I used to ask my friends:

What's most important to your life?
What feels missing?
What are you actually seeking?

And the answers were almost always:

Love
Happiness
Success

But here's the thing, love... it comes, and it goes. We've been taught that love is mostly about relationships. A partnership. A marriage.

And when that love shifts or leaves, we're often left in a real mess. Depression, anxiety, sadness, a sense of being broken kicks in.

So, how many of us actually love ourselves?

Honestly? Not that many.

Because most of us don't love the way we look. We're not happy with our weight, our shape, our height. Too tall, too short, too much hair, or (in my case) a bit less than we started with 🙂 We don't love our jobs, our daily routines, our homes. And on it goes, this quiet, constant lack of love for ourselves, leaking into everything.

A little Buddhist thought here, if you'll allow me....The Buddha talked about mettā, often translated as loving-kindness. But it's not a feeling. It's a practice. You start with yourself. Not because you're selfish, but because you can't give what you don't have.

You sit, and you say, gently, May I be happy. May I be safe. May I be at ease. And you mean it, even the hard parts. Especially the hard parts.

Love isn't something you attract like a magnet. It's something you cultivate, like a garden. A seed in the dark earth. You water it with attention, with patience, with forgiveness. And slowly, it grows toward the light.

So here's the truth I keep coming back to.....

If you don't love yourself, really, truly, gently love yourself, then all the love from the outside will feel like water poured into a cracked cup.

So pick yourself up. Not in a harsh, bootcamp kind of way. But kindly. Start a new page. Take another look at yourself.

What's not to love?

You are a divine being. You are a wonderful, messy, perfectly imperfect creation. You are love itself, not in some airy-fairy way, but in the most ordinary, breathtaking way. The fact that you're here, reading this, still trying, still hurting, still hoping? That is love.

And the sooner you realise this, not as a mantra you force, but as a truth you start to feel, ....the sooner your life can begin to soften. To open. To welcome more love in, yes. But more importantly, to be love.

In the small moments. In the hard moments. In the quiet moments when no one's watching.

So if you want to call this a 'Rubbish Post', go ahead. I can take it 🙂 But if even one tiny part of you feels less than 100% happy with the love in your life, especially the love you show yourself, then please, do yourself a favour. Take a long, gentle look. See who you really are. Connect with your heart, even if it's bruised. Sit with yourself like you would with a dear friend who's had a hard time.

And then, when you're ready, share that love. Not perfectly. Just honestly.

Love will come back to you. Not because the universe is keeping score. But because that's what love does. It ripples. It returns. It was never really lost.

Go on. Do yourself a favour. For once, not tomorrow, ...act.

Even a small act. A kind word to yourself. A deep breath. A moment of just being here.

With Love ❤️

Always

Mark

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