Burnout....Is this You?
Burnout...The self-erasure has been going on for a while, and rest with no agenda feels good.
Two stories from the Buddhist canon may help...
The tortoise
A tortoise was grazing by the river in the evening. A jackal was hunting the same bank.
The tortoise saw him coming from far off.
So it drew its legs in. Its neck. Its head. Everything. Into its shell.
And it stayed there. Passive. Silent.
The jackal came and waited. Circled. Watched for a limb. Any limb.
Nothing came out.
Eventually the jackal got bored and left.
He couldn't find a way in.
What the sutta doesn't spell out
The tortoise didn't defeat the jackal.
It didn't fight. Didn't run. Didn't outsmart him.
It just closed.
In Pali, the word for the tortoise drawing in its limbs is samodahati. The word for a meditator entering absorption is samādahati. Almost the same word.
The tortoise withdrawing isn't cowardice. It isn't collapse. It isn't giving up on life.....It's samādhi.
It's the same movement the mind makes when it gathers itself in and rests.
When you're burned out, every limb of you is stretched out. Your attention. Your care. Your energy. Your availability. All of it extended into the world, waiting to be grabbed.
The tortoise's wisdom isn't that it hides. It's that it knows when to stop extending.
You are allowed to close
You are allowed to be unavailable
Not forever. Just until the jackal leaves
The blind monk
Anuruddha was one of the Buddha's closest disciples. He pushed so hard in his practice that he went blind.
He kept going anyway.
One night he was mending his robe.
His eyes were useless.
He couldn't see the needle's eye.
So he thought... Let someone who has realised the truth thread this needle for me.
The Buddha heard the thought.
He came.
He said, Bring it here. I'll thread it.
Anuruddha recognised his voice and said, almost joking, Worldly people pursue merit. I just want to thread my needle.
The Buddha threaded it anyway.
Then he said something I can't get past.
He told Anuruddha his own work of helping wasn't finished. That no one who has realised the truth ever stops being available to those still walking.
Why this one breaks me
Anuruddha lost his sight trying to wake up. And the one he was trying to reach came and threaded a needle for him.
Not a teaching.
Not a correction.
Not you should rest more or you pushed too hard.
Just..... I'll do the small thing you can't do right now.
The Buddha, the awakened one, the teacher of gods and humans, sat down and threaded a needle.
That's the whole thing.
That's what we're doing here.
For you, if you're in burnout
You've been extending every limb for so long.
Attention.
Care.
Patience.
Strength.
All of it stretched out into a world that kept grabbing.
You're not lazy for closing.
You're not failing for resting.
You're not broken for not being able to thread your own needle right now.
You're a tortoise by the river who saw the jackal coming.
And there is no shame in that.
And if you need someone to thread your needle
That's what this place is for.
Not to fix you.
Not to teach you the right way to rest.
Not to add one more thing you should be doing.
Just to do the small thing you can't do right now.
To sit with you until the jackal leaves.
That's the practice.
It always was.
Rest with no agenda isn't a break from practice.
It is practice.
May you be well.
May you be at ease.
May you let yourself close.
With Love ❤️
Always
Mark
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Burnout....Is this You?
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