7d • General discussion
One trap in our evolutionary psychology
A lot of people struggle with the notion of comparing. They suffer as their brain compares their lives, bodies, careers, bank accounts, possessions, and spouses with others all the time, which leads almost always to either recognizing that what they possess is better—and therefore they either get a fast, short rush of adrenaline from doing better than others or repress feeling better because they don't want to be that arrogant, egotistical person who thinks they are better than others. However, on the downside awaits an unending spiral of ungratefulness, depression, and doubt: Why don't I have it better? Did I not work hard enough? Am I dumber? Do I sleep too much? Maybe I'm too nice and give too much? Or maybe God just hates me? Or is it that I didn't use the opportunities that were presented to me in my life well enough? Is it too late? Do people think low of me? What did I work this hard for if this guy who is younger just has it better?
Why does this happen so often? And perhaps most frustratingly, even highly successful people can fall into similar patterns—though the intensity and frequency vary widely depending on the individual.
Let's imagine this: you are Tom Cruise. You look amazing for your age, make millions, are fit, and do crazy shit in movies. Your latest movie has been out for a week and is making bank. Everyone on social media is talking about your movie, praising you and your performance, and happy for your success. You are really high and happy—you did it, all your hard work paid off, you are living good and deserve some relax time to enjoy your money. You pick up your phone and open Instagram because you want to see what the world is up to. And here starts the cycle.
You see The Rock posting about his new movie that made even more in its opening weekend. Suddenly, a small voice whispers: "His movie did better." You keep scrolling. You see a tech billionaire half your age buying another company. "He's younger and worth more." A fitness influencer with perfect abs and millions of followers. "Maybe I should look like that." An Oscar winner posting their Academy Award. "I've never won one for acting."
Within minutes, the high evaporates. You're Tom Cruise—literally one of the most successful people on Earth—and yet that primitive part of your brain has found a way to make you feel... less than. Not enough. Behind.
This is one trap in our evolutionary psychology.
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One trap in our evolutionary psychology
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