Jun 23 • General discussion
Research for Managing multiple estates
I have done some asking of Chat GPT about managing multiple estates while traveling and taking care of the children. I had 5 and we did not succeed very often and I would that I had had books to study and get things organized when I first started. Now I know better and see the disasters waiting before women who are trying to do it all themselves.
Here is a list of books that I got and you can find some of them on Amazon and elsewhere and I will be getting together a Reading room soon of the wisdom I gleaned from these books. Stay tuned for that.
Here You go:
You are not crazy. The book you want probably does not exist as one book. What you’re describing is not “homemaking.” It is private household operations across multiple residences, family travel logistics, education management, and domestic staff leadership.
The better search language is:
estate management, private service, household manager, domestic staffing, governess, educational nanny, travel nanny, household employer, family office, worldschooling, and house manual.
Staffing foundation
$23.27
Modern household standards
$19.95
Service training
$23.99
Historical estate model
$6.29
Employee policies
$49.99
Nanny employer basics
$9.11
Nanny relationship issues
$22.99
Professional childcare lens
$64.23
Au pair expectations
$5.99
Travel-schooling family
$14.00
Worldschooling philosophy
$32.00
Family travel planning
$18.13
Here’s how I would build your shelf.
1. For managing three estates
Start with How to Find, Hire and Keep The Right Domestic Professionals and The Butler Speaks. Those are the closest to your actual problem: hiring, expectations, household standards, service culture, and staff retention.
For the estate side, the role you are probably looking to understand is Estate Manager or Household Manager, and possibly Chief of Staff if you have several properties, vendors, schedules, children’s education, travel, and multiple staff roles. Modern estate-manager descriptions include coordinating operations across multiple residences, managing staff, overseeing budgets, coordinating security, handling major projects, and managing family travel logistics. (Seaside Staffing)
2. For creating the “house bible”
You need a House Manual or Butler’s Book more than you need another parenting book.
Get:
The Butler’s Guide to Running the Home and Other GracesGood for standards: table service, packing, clothing care, silver, household presentation, service routines, and “how things are done here.” Penguin Random House lists it as a detailed home-running guide by Stanley Ager and Fiona St. Aubyn. (PenguinRandomhouse.com)
The Butler SpeaksThis is more modern and practical for household management, manners, personal style, entertaining, and good housekeeping. Charles MacPherson’s own site describes it as a go-to household management resource. (Charles MacPherson Associates Inc.)
What you’re really building is not just a staff handbook. You need three layers:
Family Constitution — values, privacy, child formation, travel philosophy, non-negotiables.Estate Operating Manual — property standards, vendors, maintenance, inventories, seasonal closures/openings.Staff Manual — roles, chain of command, communication, boundaries, travel rules, child interaction standards.
3. For staff, nannies, governesses, and au pairs
For children, the terms matter.
A governess is not the same as a nanny. A governess is usually education-led: curriculum, manners, cultural education, language, development, enrichment, and academic continuity. A nanny is primarily care and daily child welfare. A tutor usually covers specific subjects. Modern governess agencies describe the governess as a strategic educational partner for families with complex lifestyles. (Superstar Nannies)
For your situation, I would search:
governess for traveling familyeducational nannyprivate educator for HNW familytravel nanny homeschool familygoverness homeschool curriculumrota nanny travel familyprivate family teacher
For books, get:
How to Hire a NannyBest for becoming a competent household employer.
The Nanny BookGood for the relationship side: expectations, conflict, firing, communication, and “sticky situations.”
The Professional NannyUseful because it lets you see the role from the professional nanny’s side, which helps you manage better.
For au pairs, be careful: in the U.S., an au pair is a regulated cultural-exchange role, not a full household employee, governess, or private teacher. The U.S. State Department says au pairs provide up to 10 hours per day / 45 hours per week of childcare and must complete educational requirements during the program. (BridgeUSA)
So: au pair = cultural childcare help, not primary educator, house manager, or governess.
4. For homeschooling while traveling
The phrase you want is probably worldschooling, not just homeschooling.
Get:
Wonder YearBest for families doing extended travel with education woven into life.
The Everywhere ClassroomGood for building a worldview around learning through travel.
National Geographic Bucket List Family TravelNot a homeschool management book, but useful for planning experiences that become educational units.
For your case, I would not let travel become random “field trips.” I’d build an academic spine:
Morning academic block: math, writing, reading, language.Afternoon place-based learning: museums, markets, history, geography, nature, art, architecture.Evening narration: journals, presentations, map work, family discussion.
Then your governess/private educator manages the continuity while each location becomes the living classroom.
5. The legal and employer side
Do not skip the boring books. They will save your sanity.
Get Create Your Own Employee Handbook because you are effectively running a private workplace. Household employees are still employees. The IRS says household employers may need to pay federal and state employment taxes and keep records, and Publication 926 explains how to figure, pay, and report those taxes. (IRS)
The Department of Labor also says domestic service workers in private homes can include nannies, housekeepers, cooks, chauffeurs, gardeners, caretakers, and others. (DOL) Live-in domestic workers have specific wage, overtime, and recordkeeping rules that need to be handled correctly. (DOL)
For three estates and travel, I would strongly consider having a household employment attorney or payroll service help build the contracts.
My best “starter shelf” for you
Start with these five:
- How to Find, Hire and Keep The Right Domestic Professionals
- The Butler Speaks
- The Butler’s Guide to Running the Home and Other Graces
- How to Hire a Nanny
- Wonder Year
Then add:
- The Nanny Book
- The Professional Nanny
- Create Your Own Employee Handbook
- The Everywhere Classroom
- National Geographic Bucket List Family Travel
The missing book is the one you may end up creating for yourself: The Traveling Estate Household Manual — one system for homes, staff, children, education, travel, vendors, privacy, and household culture.
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Research for Managing multiple estates
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