27d (edited) • Words from the teacher
Why staying positive doesn't work
People often say, "stay positive."
This seems like a wise approach, right? Keeping positive. Wearing a smile on your face while underneath you can barley keep it together.
But heres the truth: When there are unresolved issues, repressed traumas, and suppressed emotions, the struggle to stay positive can compound and lead to a massive shifts in our emotional state.
The result is an emotional roller coaster built on a foundation of lies.
Suppressing feelings to stay positive is emotional dishonesty. It feels like the right thing to do because we have been taught to hide emotions of sadness, fear, insecurities, etc... Deeply seeded beleifs that showing these emotions is a weakness. But who is even watching? Who are we afraid to show that to?
Yourself.
Men, especially, are conditioned to show no emotions. Yet there are constant reactions of anger, frustration, anxiety, and other emotions.
The only difference is one set are their true emotions, and the other are a wall built from suppressed emotions on the verge of collapse.
The key to actually experience positivity vs. staying positive is to allow the self to feel honestly. To allow vulnerability instead of shame or fear of vulnerability. If fear is repressed or suppressed, it leads to anxiety, self doubt, and worry - the inability to be in stillness, peace, and rest. Sadness left unprocessed can lead to anger and frustration.
We are afraid to feel, in fear that if we do, we will fall apart, become weak, give up, or even the most extreme, cease to exist. Afraid and/or ashamed to feel.
Neurobiologist Jill Bolte Taylor (not Stanford) described how it takes about 90 seconds to fully process an emotion when felt fully without holding back. What's even more interesting is that when we reach the threshold of an emotion and release, the opposite emotion is often experienced right after, causing a breakthrough to occur. Your breakthrough is on the other side of giving yourself permission to be human and feel deeply. Emotional maturation.
We tell ourselves we need to be tough and hold on, while our body is telling us it wants to let go and release. The mind tells us to hold on because it's been trained to give the body the familiar and deny it the release.
We choose pain in the pursuit of positivity!!
This is self-deception in its most camouflaged presence. This is dishonesty at its deepest level.
Awarness allows deeper levels of truth to unfold and awareness develops as we explore the uncharted territories within.
If one truly wants peace, positivity, life... one must allow the self to feel.
We have to feel, in order to heal.
The more we suppress and emotionally distort with cover-up emotions, the deeper we dig the hole of depression and create bigger dips and rises on the emotional roller coaster.
The goal isn't temporary happiness saturated in despair. Its expansion and evolution.
We run because It just feels so big and like everything will crumble. Thats what happens when its been suppressed and repressed for so long. The system can only take so much before it collapses in on itself.
We have to become aware of our own deception and face it with radical honesty and accountability and we do this by feeling our way through. Not intellectualizing and thinking our way out. Thats why you cant figure it out. Because you cant FIGURE it out.
You have to feel it out!
After we deal with the bigger repressed and suppressed emotions, then it becomes an act of allowing oneself to feel in the moment. Recognizing what we actually feel and processing it.
Emotional honesty looks ugly, but it frees the soul and allows growth on the most impactful and transformational levels.
Allow ones self to feel fully. Crying, falling apart, feeling deeply takes courage and it's necessary to let go. One may fear the end is on the other side of giving into those painful emotions, yet it is one's freedom that awaits. The answer to your biggest questions about yourself are on the other side.
Over time, positivity will become a byproduct of emotional honesty. Think about that... Who feels positive about someone that lies to them all the time?
Do you really believe its any different with yourself?
One must first be honest emotionally to begin healing. As healing takes place, we can resolve the past, make peace with what is outside of our control, and as we move forward, we can start approaching life with a little more grace and cultivate neutrality.
There are levels to this shit. Healing is only a pitstop. Its not a destination. Ill talk about the healing loop in future threads.
Remember, expansion and evolution is the goal. Maturation happens as we water the correct seeds slowly, not by placing them in stagnant waters and hoping for more growth.
Positivity flows when we are in a state of peace, gratitude and love. Those states become possible through spiritual and emotional maturation. Self honesty allows acceptance. Acceptance creates a domino effect that leads to greater awareness, which leads to deeper truths and begins to cultivate a nuetral internal state of awareness.
Neutrality is the key. Observation without getting involved emotionally. This allows us to observe life happening without life happening to us.
When one sees clearly without deception, there is nothing but causality. Cause and effect. All the judgments, perceptions, projections, and interpretations that create illusion, are burned to the ground. Neutrality allows our awareness to expand, and as it expands beyond our bodies(physical and non physical) it will slowly evolve to the capital letter AWARENESS (I will discuss this later as well).
What emerges is a new state or being. A being who breaths peace, gratitude, and love as a result of neutrality.
Truth comes from the inside out. Positivity will flow as a result of opening the gates of truth so one can wash away the illusions of despair.
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Why staying positive doesn't work
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