Something revolutionary happened in my marriage last night—something that blew my mind and shifted our growth journey. After 28 years together and facing some intense health scares over the past few months, my husband and I have committed to keep growing, no matter how challenging it may be.
Last night, after unwinding with a lighthearted TV show, we decided to turn off the screen and dive into personal growth. We read our Bible and a portion of a business book, then set them aside to reflect. In that reflection, we opened up about areas of personal struggle that have challenged us for years. For me, it’s math—a subject tied to deep mental blocks. For my husband, it’s reading, a skill shaped by trauma. We agreed to allow each other to speak into these areas, to help each other grow.
What followed was a breakthrough. We spent nearly an hour tackling basic math concepts, ones I’ve avoided my entire life. It wasn’t easy—my head literally ached as I forced my brain to carve new neural pathways and accept what I had long rejected. To my surprise, after our conversation ended, I found myself creating practice problems in my head, solving them without paper or a calculator. It was painful but exhilarating, a reminder that growth often hurts because it’s the stretching of muscles we haven’t used.
Then it was my turn to help him. I shared a simple spelling principle I’d tried to teach him before but never with success. We reviewed evidence of a word he frequently misspelled in our business schedule—proof of a mental block he’d carried for years. We talked through it, broke it down with phonics, and practiced spelling together. For the first time, he began to see patterns and spelled multiple words correctly. Watching him overcome that block was incredible.
This conversation was a moment I’ve always dreamed of us having—a true partnership in growth and learning. The title of my book, Growing Into a Mature Marriage: From Kindergarten to College, couldn’t resonate more deeply. Last night’s conversation wasn’t just about our marriage maturity; it was literally about academic principles from kindergarten through college!
If you haven’t read the book yet, visit DelyceCollins.com and click the link at the top of the page. As long as we’re alive, we’re meant to grow. Stagnation pulls us closer to death, but choosing to learn—whether it’s math, reading, or something else—draws us closer to life. Death and life are in the power of the tongue, even in these areas. Let’s keep choosing life.