3d • General discussion
I Crave A Home I’ve Never Been To
What most people are calling “home” isn’t a place at all.
It’s a state.
When we’re young, especially in moments when things were stable, predictable, or at least familiar, our nervous systems learned what calm felt like. There were rhythms. Routines. People or environments we could count on. Even if childhood wasn’t perfect, there were often pockets where our bodies knew how to exhale.
Then we grow up.
Life speeds up. Responsibilities stack. Relationships get complicated. The world feels louder, harsher, less forgiving. And suddenly people find themselves saying things like:
“I just want to go home.”
“I miss how things used to feel.”
“I want a life that feels simple again.”
“I’m homesick… but I don’t know for what.”
And here’s the reframe:
They’re not longing for their childhood.
They’re not even longing for their parents or their old house.
They’re longing for a regulated nervous system.
They’re craving the feeling of:
• Safety without effort
• Predictability without control
• Rest without guilt
• Belonging without performance
So when someone says,
“I crave a home I’ve never been to,”
That actually makes perfect sense.
They’re describing a place their body recognizes, even if their life has never provided it consistently. A place where their nervous system would finally soften. Where they wouldn’t be bracing. Where they wouldn’t be scanning for danger, rejection, or the next thing to manage.
That’s why this longing shows up so strongly during overwhelm, burnout, grief, or big life transitions. When the system is overloaded, it doesn’t ask for solutions. It asks for regulation.
The beautiful part is this:
That “home” isn’t lost.
And it isn’t behind you.
It’s something you can build internally and externally, piece by piece, as an adult.
Through:
• Environments that feel safe instead of stimulating
• Relationships that feel steady instead of chaotic
• Routines that ground instead of pressure
• Learning how to calm your own body without needing escape
So the longing isn’t nostalgia.
It’s information.
Your system isn’t asking to go backward.
It’s asking to finally rest.
And that’s something you can give yourself.
If this resonated, you’re not broken.
You’re listening.
You can find more of my work here or on my page.
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I Crave A Home I’ve Never Been To
