26d (edited) • General Discussion
Grief - In All Its Stages
My mother died 2 weeks ago from Dementia. But when it comes, even though expected, it hurts you deep!
Why did it happen this way? Why her and in that fashion, left alone in a hospital bed in her last moments! Passing away just 20 minutes before I got there!
I feel that I am, in this moment, in the Anger stage of grief.
So what is Grief?
The Five Stages Of Grief
According to some there are five stages of Grief – those being - Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance.
They are often talked about as if they happen in order, moving from one stage to the other. But this isn’t always the case.
What defines each stage of grief?
Denial
Feeling numb is common in the early days after a bereavement. Some people at first carry on as if nothing has happened. Even if we know with our heads that someone has died it can be hard to believe that someone important is not coming back.
Anger
Anger is a completely natural emotion, and very natural after someone dies. Death can seem cruel and unfair, especially when you feel someone has died before their time or you had plans for the future together. It’s also common to feel angry at ourselves for things we did or didn’t do before their death.
Bargaining
When we are in pain, it’s sometimes hard to accept that there’s nothing we can do to change things. Bargaining is when we start to make deals with ourselves, or perhaps with God if we’re religious.
Depression
Sadness and longing are what we think of most often when we think about grief. This pain can be very intense and come in waves over many months or years. Life can feel like it no longer holds any meaning which can be very scary.
Acceptance
Grief comes in waves and it can feel like nothing will ever be right again. But gradually most people find that the pain eases, and it is possible to accept what has happened.
We may never ‘get over’ the death of someone precious, but we can learn to live again, while keeping the memories of those we have lost close to us.
That is my journey now to remember my mother, how she was before dementia, and all the memories I have had throughout my life being her son!
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Grief - In All Its Stages
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