5d • General discussion
Day 13 : When Faith Feels Foolish
I’m waiting on a miracle.
And I don’t feel dumb for waiting — but I’m starting to wonder if I look it.
Because it’s hard to be faithful.
Hard to keep believing in things I can’t see yet.
Hard to hold a vision that hasn’t materialized in the physical.
Some days I ask myself:
Am I a fool?
Am I delusional?
Am I out of my mind?
Or am I just tired?
Lazy isn’t it.
I know that.
I’ve worked too hard, grown too much, stretched too far to call this laziness.
This is exhaustion with a heartbeat.
This is “running out of gas” but still rolling forward on fumes and faith.
I feel close — painfully close — but I don’t know.
I’ve never been here before.
This edge.
This threshold.
This place where everything in me says, “Don’t quit,” while everything around me says, “Are you sure?”
God said this direction.
Just stay on this path.
Don’t give up.
And I’ve been obedient to that.
But obedience doesn’t always feel rewarding.
Sometimes it feels like walking blindfolded with your hands out, hoping you don’t hit a wall.
I’m scared I got it wrong.
Scared I misheard.
Scared I went the wrong way and now I’m too far out to turn back.
I don’t have the resources to start over.
I don’t have the luxury of collapsing.
And I’m not walking alone.
My little girl is watching me.
Counting on me.
Learning from me.
Every step I take is teaching her what faith looks like in real time.
So today, this is my prayer:
God, I give up trying to control this.
I give up pretending I’m strong enough on my own.
I give up carrying what only You can lift.
I’m out of ideas.
Do something.
Move something.
Shift something.
Show me the next inch.
This isn’t quitting.
This is surrender.
This is what faith looks like when it’s scraped raw.
This is what it means to trust when you’re trembling.
This is what it means to keep going when you don’t know how.
If you’re here too — waiting, doubting, hoping, exhausted — you’re not alone.
We walk this part together.
And we keep walking because even when we’re out of strength, we’re never out of grace.
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Day 13 : When Faith Feels Foolish
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