Apr 5 • Inner Circle: Devotion
My 4/4 Portal Ritual
Over the last several weeks, I’ve experienced a couple of wounds that seem to work together nicely to keep me feeling unsure about who I am, the path I walk, and the people I allow in my life. All because of something that appears so small and so silly to my conscious mind, but is like the iceberg under the water for my ego.
The ego is not bad. It is a tool like anything else and its purpose is to keep you safe. However, most of us have been taught that the ego is who we are. Our identity. How we fit into this world. So naturally, we allow it to lead everything about our lives. When we let it run free, it tends to make us forget about our Soul or Spirit. We forget we are pure love. We forget that we don’t have to create all of our problems in our reactions.
So, this little thing of mine has been festering for 42 years. It’s like a little sliver that my mind has grown over, not able to come out on its own, and not able to stay in without causing more damage. But it is barely even noticeable. Until I start following threads.
You see, because of my current line of deep study, I have been evaluating my emotions twice daily for the last while to get proficient at my own Somatic Healing method. I check in with my body and feel what is on the surface. Then, I find where that emotion lands on the element chart. That element corresponds to traumas, even tiny little ones that are more annoying than damaging, but halt my progress just the same.
In my evaluations of late, I uncovered (with the synchronistic help of the Universe) a wound from a lot of years ago. From my father. He did not inflict this wound on me to be a bully. Yes, he was abusive at times, but I don’t feel he was doing it to traumatize me at the age of 10 or so. But the wound in me was real. I felt it there. My whole life, I know today, that I felt it there. Heard his voice in my mind countless times as I grew and matured. “You’ll never amount to anything.”
And my subconscious believed him. My ego believed him. And it has kept me from creating monetary success and security. All my life. That one memory. It has gone quietly undetected all this time until I started digging to help myself so I can help others.
That cycle ends on this 4/4 day for me. I wrote 4 different letters to people that influence my life on that same thread. 4 letters on 4/4. Wow. I didn’t even realize that until just now. But I burned the ties to those people who have kept that insecurity alive. That’s not blaming them. That’s understanding the wound and the people in my life that are showing me that wound. They have been doing me a favor for years and I’m just seeing it now.
That is how Somatic Healing works. It’s not a magical miracle healer, no. It’s following the gift of feeling to uncover a weed in the garden of your life and then plucking it out.
Will this same wound come back? No wounds are ever truly gone, we simply shift our perception of what it is. Instead of hurtful, it might become motivating. That’s how the spiral works. You visit it, go deep with it, resolve something about it, shift how you see it, and you might feel it is gone. Healed. But as you keep growing, as we all should be, the wound will ask to be visited again on a different level. Maybe a deeper level of understanding. Maybe a deeper place of compassion. Maybe a more “elevated” way of seeing the wound. Like dandelions in the springtime, popping up in grasses all over without being asked or invited, wounds bloom when the time is right to resolve them according to whatever level your consciousness is on.
And what is ironic…
The dandelion is one of the most nourishing “weeds” for our physical body. Our wounds are the same. Curriculum. Lessons. The portals to our best self. If you let them.
Wounds are not weakness or failures, not unless you believe them into existence that way. They are the way, the teacher, and the disciplinarian. I believe that each wound addressed comes with a helper in the form of an animal, angel, ancestor, guide, or deity. That’s why I get help from so many of them. They help you wash off that golden nugget of light within you.
So here is my ritual. It’s very personal and vulnerable to share and I kept my letters confidential except the one I wrote to my dad to help you learn how to write a great write and burn letter for emotional release. There is nothing we do in this world without a thread of emotion attached. Everything is about how it is going to make us feel by doing it. Sometimes, what we think we are going to feel backfires. But we will always act to create a specific feeling.
In this video, I used the cards I made for the write and burn exercise in the Classroom tab. I did the entire ritual from beginning to end. It’s spiritual and emotional hygiene. Instead of simply telling the Universe that you want to let go of being lazy or unhealthy or single or unsuccessful, try following that feeling back to the first time you encountered it in your waking life. Most occur between the ages of 7-9. That is when the ego firmly engages. Once you find it in your memory files of your mind, you see who was present with you in that moment. That is the root of the weed in your garden. Write your letter to whom began it all.
Complaining to the Universe gets you nowhere. Acting the martyr or victim gets you nowhere. The purpose is to deg deeper, find, extract, and nourish the place where you find the root of the weed. By taking that root out and making a proverbial cup of tea with it for your Soul, it completes its cycle and can finally nourish you. ❤️
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My 4/4 Portal Ritual
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