She Snapped · Underground Poetry Vibe

Delleeesa Harris

Feb 23 • General discussion

She Snapped

She snapped!!!

She snapped because she was all alone.

She snapped because where did she go wrong?

She snapped because she saw no other way to do things.

She snapped because she felt so sad, so down there was nothing left to do, but let it out.

In her dark place, she lay dwelling on the day. Thinking about how she could have changed the outcome of things. Trying to put the puzzle together losing herself while on her journey. Thinking of ways to change the time laps. If only there was a way to reverse it.

Jotting down her every thought. Catching every tear that falls. The visions just won't stop.

So she snapped…..

She snapped at the thought of losing you.

She snapped at the thought of not holding you.

She snapped because there were no longer two of you.

She snapped because she knew life would be different without you. A life without you was a life not worth living.

So she snapped…

Traveling down a lonely dark highway with no lights on with the hope of finding someone who would come around and shed light on her life. Not seeing a way out she began to drink her sorrows away. Hiding her pain and sorrow either way.

Knowing the drinks only covered her for the moment she drank it anyway, feeling sorry for herself she would continue for two years. Feeling sorry for her children she would act as if she was never bothered.

So she snapped….

She snapped because she was lost, not even the beautiful world she once connected to could help her. Not a friend or family member could help lift this dark cloud off her shoulders.

So she snapped…..

Thinking that maybe she should just die herself. I mean who would care “hell” no one is around anyway.

So she began to do drugs hoping that would help because the drinks were not enough. Slowly dipping into a downward spiral even deeper than before, blocking everyone out. She thought she needed more time, more time to figure things out, more time to adjust, more time to feel love, more time to learn, more time to grow.

But on the way she snapped….thoughts of a dangerous mind

Who would love her as he once did?

Who would guide her as he once did?

Who would flow with her balance?

Who would understand her as he once did?

The more she thought about it the more she drank the more she pushed drugs through her body until she snapped

She snapped and pulled the gun out of her nightstand putting one bullet in the chamber, holding it to her temple. Telling herself she had the balls to end it once and for all.

She had the courage to leave her kids and family who depended on her daily.

She had the understanding that they would only miss her for a moment. She was ready, so she counted. 10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1( Click ). She pulled the trigger with her eyes closed, with her left hand clenched. But when she opened her eyes, no blood in sight, wondering why she pulled the trigger agai,n the gun still did not go off.

(Damn it jammed)

And that is when she knew she had been given a second chance in life.

A second chance to turn things around

A second chance to change and be the change of the what if or what not.

A second chance to reach the light of her own path

I am Lesa, and changed I shall be change I shall know, change I shall show.

By Delleesa Harris 2023

The thoughts of a widow……

5 comments