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May 1st = A fresh start!
I have to be honest. When I opened Our Blended Home, I was looking for a little space in the universe for me to let the "teacher/coach" side of me loose to play. Then I started listening to all the "experts" who talked about engagement, daily posts, and being active all the time. So... I went ahead and started doing that, and it felt icky. I'm an introvert, I'm happy to show up and help, but please don't make me lead conversations and small talk, I may faint! 😂 SO...Here is to a fresh start, giving you what I INTENDED to give you. Our Blended Home will now be your LEARNING HUB for all things related to stepfamily parenting. I will be offering mini-teachings, answering Q&A questions, and giving a live workshop once a month. For you, that means you get to learn at your own pace without all the noise of a social media group. You can ask questions in the community or DM me. You can chime in on the occasional poll to let me know what you want next. You can absolutely ask me to cover a specific topic in a workshop/teaching session. What we're not doing is random chit-chat for the sake of engagement. You are too busy raising kids for that! I want to be your resource for useful information and support. If you know a stepparent or their partner who is in the early stages of blending, please invite them to our learning hub, I really do want to support more blended families! Thanks so much for being here. Comment below with your feedback on this change. :)
Tiny steps, big wins
Small shifts in communication can change everything. Try this today:Before responding to your partner, pause and ask yourself—👉 “Am I trying to understand or trying to prove a point?” That one question can completely change how the conversation goes. Engagement Question:Which one do you tend to lean toward more (if you’re honest)? Understanding or proving your point?
What does "alignment" mean to you?
I often use the phrase "alignment" when talking about parenting. It's not meant to mean agreeing on everything single thing. In fact, our differences can be our strengths. If everyone had the identical opinion, life would be boring! I'm curious what alignment looks like in your home?
What does "alignment" mean to you?
One small question for you today
What's one thing your partner does well as a parent/stepparent (or is trying to do well)? It can be something big or really small. Sometimes we move so fast into problem-solving that we forget to notice what's already working.
Let's start at the very beginning!
One of my favorite movies is The Sound of Music. As the new nanny, Julie Andrews begins to teach the children how to sing. The first line of a well-known song says, "Let's start at the very beginning" and one of the children replies, "A very good place to start." For stepparents wanting to bond with their stepchildren, the "very beginning" may feel like very surface level communication, but it is a very good place to start. When adults push for the blend too quickly, the children may shut down or rebel. A few tips for "the beginning..." - Gently lean in on topics such as the child's hobbies, sports, or other interests without being overbearing - Instead of "How was school?" - which will get you a one word answer - ask how their science test went or if they looked into joining the journalism club they mentioned an interest in - Be open to following their lead. If they aren't ready for deeper conversations, be patient and let the relationship grow. Most importantly, the type of communication you are used to may be slightly to completely different from that of your partner and his/her children. It takes time to navigate even surface -level relationships that are new. What other tips would you share with new stepcouples when it comes to communication within the family?
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Our Blended Home
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A learning hub for couples in the early stages of blending - get aligned and build a strong foundation before conflicts and confusion take over.
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