Why did I self sabotage? · Luminary Trading

Why did I self sabotage?

In the past, I had some success but 95% is failures, again and again and again....

I was fed up with my sabotaging actions which resulted to the downside of my life.

I read few books on neuro-scienece and got some points why I kept repeating those mistakes. I found I am giving the meaning the way that sees every losses a threat or danger and my mind consciences me to take whatever the action (even bad) to get out those danger situations.

I never accepted the loss, first reality of the trading.

I lost almost $50k+ from personal capital trading, binary(gambling) and few thousands from propfirm.

I am in debt of $10k+ now with NO Jobs at all. I am trying to find one.

This is the flow of the process:

> I place the trade (with or without the plan)

> If loss> recovering it immediately triggered.

> Wanted to over levarege to trades that were never my strategy.

Then up down, up down until account BLOWN.

❗At some point, I found my mind does whatever to result the that pain experience as my mind likes it.

I know I am an idiot with immatureness.

But something unknown stopped me again and again.

I know I was or am doing the wrong which can put me to the worst phase than this but I need to change it now, yes from this moment. I feel regret, the morning feels so uninterested with no vision.

I must do this and believe and have hope I can do this.

How? ⬇️

> I must wait to follow my plan.

> Risk management

> Risk acceptance with whatever the outcome.

> Accountability.

> The way I view at losses.

Expert's guidance is much needed. The way I see myself is winner. It never changed. Thank you.

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