Yesterday I had an unexpected realization.
A few months ago I noticed a fight or flight pattern :
Every time I start getting deeply focused… I pull myself out of it.
If I’m working with full attention, I suddenly get up to make coffee.
If I’m in prayer and beginning to feel connected, I break the moment.
Not because something external interrupts me. I didn't know why until yesterday.
But yesterday it clicked:
Because somewhere, I’m more familiar with being distracted than being fully present.
That was the identity.
“I am someone who is busy and distracted.”
And the moment I saw it, I realized: This is not truth.
This is conditioning.
So now I’m choosing something different.
I’m connecting to the version of me who is safe to focus, enjoys depth can stay with one thing without needing to escape it.
I don’t know exactly what this version will look like yet.
But I’m willing to explore her. To slowly embody her. And once again, it reminded me: how powerful these subtle identities are…and how quietly they shape everything we do.
Now I’m curious about you.
What was your last “aha” moment?
When did you notice yourself operating from an identity you didn’t consciously choose?
Share in the comments.