Apr 9 • General discussion
What if your inner voice held the key to deeper REM sleep?
How do you make sure you’re getting quality sleep — not just one night, but throughout the week?
I was recently talking with someone about how different sleep routines work for different people. For me and my girlfriend, sleep is always a balancing act, especially with her three kids. When the kids are with their dad, we try to get to bed by 9:30/10PM (latest 11PM) to catch up on rest, since we’re always up around 7AM. We both need at least 7–8 hours to feel recharged, though that’s not always doable.
But just aiming for better sleep helps shape better habits. It’s a slow rewiring — but over time, it starts to stick.
Quick fact: Some people (very rare) have a gene mutation (like DEC2 or ADRB1) that allows them to thrive on just 4–5 hours of sleep. They’re called natural short sleepers. But unless you’ve had genetic testing, don’t assume you’re one of them — sleep is crucial for healing, brain reset, and stress recovery.
When the kids are around, it’s different — they’re still processing their day, full of energy, bedtime resistance, looking up to their older sibling, etc. We do our best to keep things calm and get everyone to wind down, including ourselves.
As a bonus dad, I sometimes get to retreat to my own space, which helps me stay consistent with my sleep rhythm. But I also make sure to support my beloved so she can relax too.
What helps me wind down:
- Reading or listening to soft music (not necessarily meditative — sometimes a slow jazz or ballad can work too)
- Guided meditation or breathwork
- But the game-changer? Writing down my to-do’s in a relaxed, kind tone — like a child drawing without worrying about the result. I let my brain off the hook for the night. It helps clear mental clutter and often leads to better sleep, even on short nights.
“These are things I’d love to do tomorrow — and I’m happy with what I did today, even if it wasn’t perfect.”
What really shifted things for me was learning to tune into my inner voice — not the overthinking one, but the softer, calmer one underneath. Writing down what’s on my mind, in a gentle, forgiving tone, feels like I’m having a small evening chat with that voice. That simple act helps me let go of pressure, breathe easier, and sleep deeper — almost like my inner voice is tucking me in.
It’s not about harsh productivity. It’s a calm, compassionate moment with myself that primes me for the next day. As a man that's not always known territory, being kind and patient with myself, but listening to my inner voice helps me to be a better and healthier masculine man (in balance with his feminine side).
Feeling what I need personally and thus being more in connection with my surroundings or my beloved.
Back to the list, some people do this kind of list in the morning, but for me, it works better at night. It gives me deeper rest, I fall fast asleep, and have a more focused mind the day after. Bonus: I also get more done without hesitation.
It's a form of priming you could say. Check out “priming” by Tony Robbins if you're curious — it’s a great concept to explore.
So how about you? What helps you sleep better or feel clearer the next day? Do you have a wind-down ritual that works for you? Or something you’re still trying to figure out?
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What if your inner voice held the key to deeper REM sleep?
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