Dec '25 • 💎 Gems
Why Some Belief Changes Transform Your Life (And Others Don’t)
Have you ever noticed that sometimes eliminating a belief changes everything… and other times you clear a belief and basically nothing happens?
For a long time, I thought this was some kind of mystery. After working on beliefs for years – my own and those of many others – I realized it’s actually very simple. There are clear patterns that explain why some beliefs create massive change, and why others barely move the needle.
If you understand these patterns, you stop wasting time on beliefs that won’t change your life. And you start focusing on the ones that actually matter.
When I eliminated “I’m not capable,” everything shifted. For years, I carried the belief “I’m not capable.” It influenced almost everything I did. If I didn’t know how to do something, I usually didn’t even try. I assumed I wouldn’t be able to figure it out. The moment that belief was gone, the change was immediate: Instead of “I can’t do this,” my default became “I’ll figure it out.” Completely different experience of life.
Now here’s the important part:
I could have worked on something like “It’s hard for me to do things I don’t already know.” That kind of belief sounds relevant, but it only describes the problem. It’s not the belief causing the behaviour.
The 4 factors that determine whether a belief change will be big or barely noticeable.
1. How many beliefs are holding the pattern in place
If ten beliefs are propping up your problem and you eliminate one, you won’t feel much. If only two beliefs are causing the pattern and you remove one, the shift is big.
2. Broad vs. narrow beliefs
Some beliefs affect almost every area of your life. Others only show up in specific situations.
Example: A client had already cleared most of his major beliefs and felt huge improvements. But he still couldn’t present in front of people. The remaining belief was: “If you make a mistake in front of people, you’ll be ridiculed.” We eliminated it. Presenting became a non-issue. Narrow belief, narrow impact — but exactly the right target.
Now compare that to a belief like: “People are dangerous. ”That one affects every interaction with every person. Completely different scale.
3. Self-beliefs vs. beliefs about the world
Your “self” is with you 24/7. So, a belief like “I’m not capable” hits you constantly — every challenge, every new situation, every decision. That’s why removing a self-belief tends to create huge change fast.
4. On-target vs. off-target beliefs (the most important one)
This is where most people lose years. Often, the beliefs people want to eliminate are not the ones causing the problem. They’re beliefs that formed after the problem already existed. Example: People who struggle with weight often want to work on:
- “I can’t lose weight.”
- “Losing weight is too hard for me.”
But those beliefs are just reactions to past experiences. They’re not the cause. The real issue sits in the behaviors:
- “When it gets hard, I quit.”
- “I cheat constantly.”
- “I lose motivation fast.”
Beliefs formed before these patterns — that’s where the cause is.
One client couldn’t stick to any diet because she would binge on sweets no matter what she did. We found a core belief: “Sweets are my best friend. ”After removing it (and a few related ones), the compulsive eating disappeared. The emotional attachment was gone. If we had only worked on “I can’t lose weight,” nothing would have changed.
Why this matters
The biggest breakthroughs come from knowing whether a belief is actually on target. I’ve seen people spend months working on beliefs that didn’t touch the real problem. When you identify the beliefs that are actually running the show, the broad ones, the self-beliefs, the on-target ones, transformation becomes predictable.
The truth is simple
There’s nothing mystical about why some belief changes transform your life and others don’t. It’s pattern-based. Once you understand how these patterns work, you stop shooting in the dark.
Belief work is powerful because it removes the blocks that all your other efforts keep crashing into. When the right belief goes, the behavior changes. Often instantly.
The transformation you want isn't random. It's just about finding and eliminating the beliefs that actually matter, the ones quietly controlling everything behind the scenes.
(Content by Shelly Fefkoe)
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Why Some Belief Changes Transform Your Life (And Others Don’t)
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