Hello! · Manifesting Magic

Hello!

Good morning, my fellow conscious manifesting friends 💜 what a great email to wake up to, my acceptance email!

I am currently planted in Central Wisconsin, and 7 years ago I pulled the plug and went off grid. This was something I have imagined clearly since I was 15 (I'm knocking on 50 this year). When we went off grid on a random Tuesday morning, I determined we'd pay off all debt in 12 months following. By month 7 it was all paid off. House, land, vehicles, credit cards... all gone. Something else I'm pretty stoked about manifesting: when 9/11 happened I watched it on TV, obsessed with how we'd come back from this. As an empath and super sensitive, I had to focus on the rebuilding because feeling that crushing loss was a lot. I had a crystal clear image of me building something. I chuckled and said sure, I have no skills for that and went on about my day.

In 2016, I was standing in One World Center, installing the Pret A Manger restaurant my husband and I had build by hand. Even with my "yeah, whatever" attitude, the path was set and nothing stopped it from happening.

Sure enough....my entire path for 15 years put me exactly on track to build a restaurant structure that is seen by 50,000 humans per DAY.

Here's the thing. That restaurant? I manifested being the builder and I manifested $250,000 during that job.

It was a 2 for 1 manifestation!

Well, now I'm here. I've done the work on money blocks (let me tell ya, I hemmoraged that money I had out of fear- I spent it as fast as I could without consideration because I thought my ex would come after me). He did. Exactly as I believed.

I have done the work on myself, deeply, and as such when i get to this point, it just pisses me off, which opens different cans of worms that are repeating from past experiences.

I refuse to continue like this. I keep myself small (even though it feels gross to do so) so as to not be energetically seen, even though everything is screaming to knock it off. I know that is my biggest limiter right now. I'm a recovered people pleaser, aka human door mat, so saying no to something? Easy. Being seen?

Terrifying.

I know what I desire, I can sit in imagination easily and really get into it. It's the next day that resistance is present and tense spots show up in my body.

It's starting to really annoy me. I feel "stuck", even though I'm not. I keep repeating deep dives on manifesting, knowing full well I already know this stuff.

So I kinda feel like a scratched record that keeps skipping and repeating.

I've worked with many of the 1% (as folks like to call them, I just call them my friends) and let me tell ya, they are manifesting MASTERS. You wanna get rich? Spend time with them. They are like a living Neville Book.

I'm board certified in NLP, my resume even impresses me, yet none of this has calmed the tension (it was me trying to prove my 3D self is worthy, and now I am overly qualified and too much in most cases for employment here, not that I need a job)

I stepped into my off grid life for calm, peace, connection, and independence. I have not fully stepped into it. It's like I'm in the doorway, one foot in, one foot out just standing there staring. Like the weird uncle at a family reunion. 😂🤣

I go to take that second step and boom. FROZEN.

I do not homestead (farm). I don't want that kind of permanence. I want a certain feeling, not a look, and that feeling? It's just out of reach. Like I'm grabbing at it and it's dancing just over there, out of reach.

The further I evolve, the more difficult it becomes to verbalize this, because I am all about the feels. I feel it and cannot always verbalize it so I do get creative in my descriptions. In hopes others might understand and potentially provide clarity, confirmation or the shove I need.

I adore A-ha moments and when they are close is when I'm most agitated in my nervous system.

I'm a natural leader, a manifestor in Human Design, and open to experiences. I know in my soul we are unlimited and right now this 3d meatsack is on edge in a way I havent felt in years.

So, that's me in a nutshell. I am open to questions, suggestions and connections. I truly look forward evolving with you all!

Hopefully my rambling wasn't too confusing. 😉💜

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