5d • General discussion
WELCOME MY LIL DUCKLINGS
I hope you can feel my arms wide open to greet you to our space! Love is the answer and I will die on this hill! For some clarification, this space is going to be the expression “she wears her heart on her sleeve” come to live here on the interwebs. I have felt all my life that I needed to perform as various versions of myself to keep people around me. Never too much of myself all at once, that always ends poorly and people always leave. Always.
Here’s the truth though:
I was never too much. I was created as this exact vessel because I BELONG. I finally learned that if my “shine”, that’s what I call that “it factor” that makes you YOU, is sacred. All my life I’ve been told I’m too much: too loud, too vulgar, too “friendly”, too gullible, too pushy, annoying, move too fast, speak too freely, share too much. That I’m intimidating and aggressive and some have even told me later in our friendship that I am so intense I seem like I’m going to be a “megabitch” at first impression. Yikes. LOL
I have always craved meaningful connection and loved people. I was all too happy to dim myself to better suit and comfort my loved ones. All too happy that all the love I experienced I had to sing and dance for.. and often I’d have things thrown in my face if I didn’t ask “how high?” when someone would say “JUMP!”
My husband is the first person to ever love me unconditionally. When I met him it was like he pulled out every thing I shoved down and put a spotlight on them for the world to see. Through his illumination, I fist reflected light and then one day I glowed ok my own again. Brighter than ever. Every one of the traits I thought were too much passed on in some way or another to our beautiful children came and I finally realized that my shine was never, EVER to be dimmed to comfort others. I could finally see the beauty of my shine watching them glow, of course as themselves, but with pieces of me.
If I am too bright for someone, they are not ready to leave the darkness yet. I am no longer interested in leading horses to water. When they are thirsty, they will go for a drink. When it’s time for someone to bask in my glow, I will gladly warm them. Love is an infinite and renewable resource. I don’t take it personal anymore when people leave. I am a fucking lot and I’m proud of it. I do everything with my whole chest, or not at fucking all. And you know what?!! The world needs my shiny ass just as it is. It needs your shiny ass too. In my humble opinion, a lot of what’s wrong in the world is due to people dimming and conforming to these ridiculous “ideal” archetypes. FUCK OUTTA HEAAAAAAA
My purpose is to be unapologetically myself and spread love. I’m good at loving people, I have always been. Before I gave at the expense of self- now I pour myself the same high quality care and love as well as everyone I meet. It is making a difference. I am forgiving myself for all my mistakes. I am learning the “bad” parts of me exist in unison with all my good and that all parts of me are worthy of love. That is being human- messy and a very large grey area . No one is perfect and trying to be is a fool’s errand.
If you feel like the fog is lifting and taste and sound and color is all coming back to you, me too! Let’s forgive all the madness we felt necessary to subject ourselves to. Let’s find joy. Let’s see how magical we can make life again like when we were little kids playing imagination games !
I’m so glad you’re here. I’m so glad I stuck around to meet you. I’m wicked excited for what we are going to build together
XOXO JESSY !
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WELCOME MY LIL DUCKLINGS
skool.com/loveistheanswer
35yo Boston based shortie that’s done “just getting by”.
Artist, momma, wife. I just wanna cackle all day and make my life hella magical. Come with?
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