How to write a first message that doesn't get ignored (step by step)

When I ran my last sprint Loads of the attendees struggles with this one thing - "what do I actually SAY to a stranger?"

So here's the exact shape of message one. Bookmark it.

This is the bit between Find and Connect. You've got the name. Now you need a reply.

It's five steps and none of them are clever. That's rather the point.

Before you start: you don't need a list of 300. You need three people and a reason to message each one.

Here it is:

STEP 1: Find the symptom before you type a word

If you can't see a symptom, don't message them. Yet.

A symptom is the thing they'd say out loud at 11:30pm. "Referrals have gone quiet." "Forty signups, two active." "The phone hasn't rung since Tuesday."

Where to look:

- Their last three posts (what they keep circling back to)

- Their website's offer page (what they're trying to sell this quarter)

- A "we're hiring" post, a new job title, a launch that went quiet

- A review that praises the thing they do well, and says nothing about the thing they don't

QUICK TIP: paste their last three posts into Claude or ChatGPT and ask "what's this person worried about?" It's decent at reading between the lines. It's rubbish at writing the message. That bit's still you.

STEP 2: Write the first line about them, not you

One sentence. Something you noticed. In their words where you can.

The test: could you send this exact line to anyone else?

If yes, delete it. "Love what you're doing" fails the test. So does "I help businesses like yours".

STEP 3: Ask one easy question

Yes or no. Or a one-word answer. Something they can reply to from the school car park with one thumb.

Not "would you be open to a chat?" That's a question about you.

"Is the gap behind those two clients something you're filling, or do referrals usually cover it?" That's a question about them.

STEP 4: Leave the offer out. Completely.

Message one has one job: a reply.

Not a call. Not a sale. Not a link. A reply.

If there's a link in message one, it's a pitch with a hat on. Take the hat off.

STEP 5: Send it, then shut up

No "just bumping this" the next morning.

Send three today. Research three more tomorrow. The follow-up is a separate system, and a separate post.

Here's the whole thing as one message, to a coach whose last post mentioned two clients finishing next month:

"Saw your post about the two clients finishing next month. Is what comes after them something you're actively filling, or do referrals usually sort it?"

That's it. 25 words. No pitch. Nothing about me.

The maths, for the sceptics: thirty of those, at the 46% reply rate I get on LinkedIn, is roughly 14 conversations from one list of 30 people. (Mine, on one platform. Results vary. Yours will depend almost entirely on step 1.)

Word of Warning: if message one is longer than the post you're replying to, it's too long. Cut it in half. Then cut it again.

===

Go and have a go.

Write one today and paste it in the comments BEFORE you send it. I'll tell you straight if it's a pitch in disguise.

I read every one. Usually before the boys are up.

Jack

P.S. Never sent a message like this? Your First Conversations This Week is free in the classroom and gets you from cold to a real conversation in a couple of days. The full version, platform by platform, with every message after this one, is the Sniper Approach, inside Premium at $9.

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How to write a first message that doesn't get ignored (step by step)

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