Aug 13 • General discussion
Who Loves First Wins - But Sometimes You Have to Love Yourself First 💙
Here's what I know about people: Everybody wants something. Everybody wants to feel important, to be seen, to matter. Everyone's fighting their own battles and trying to survive in their own way.
And here's what I've learned: How do you get people to care about you? You care about them first. You love them first. You show up for them first. That's how it works - whoever loves first wins.
Think about it - how did your parents love you? They loved you first, before you could even love them back.
I've built my whole recovery around this principle - caring genuinely about people, giving from my heart, showing up consistently.
But lately, I'm really struggling with how nasty people can be. How people are all about themselves. How some people try to put others down to feel superior. My feelings have been hurt lately, which has made me reevaluate everything.
The people I hang out with. The actions I take. The energy I give out.
I've been giving, giving, giving, giving, giving and getting nothing in return except nastiness and hate from some people.
And you know what? That's not fair anymore.
Recovery has taught me something important: I can be selfish. I can be about myself. I can put me first, and it's okay to take care of me.
I've had a hard life, and it's really time for me to focus on what's important and slow down. So that's what I'm going to do - I'm shutting everything down and focusing on myself for a little while.
This doesn't mean I'm becoming cold or uncaring. It doesn't mean I'm going to stop loving people first or caring genuinely about others. That's who I am at my core, and recovery brought out the best in me.
But it does mean I'm going to be more selective about who gets my energy. It means I'll love myself first before loving everyone else.
It means I'm going to protect my peace, guard my heart, and stop letting people take advantage of my generous spirit.
I'm hoping I don't hurt other people's feelings in doing this, but I need to. I need to take care of me the same way I've been taking care of everyone else.
Recovery taught me I'm worth saving from addiction. Now it's teaching me I'm worth saving from toxic people and one-sided relationships.
You can still love people first AND put yourself first. You can still care genuinely about others while protecting your own well-being. You can still be generous while having boundaries.
To my beautiful recovery family: If you've been giving everything to people who give you nothing back, this is your permission to focus on yourself. You're not selfish for protecting your peace. You're not mean for setting boundaries. You're not wrong for wanting to be treated with the same love and respect you give others.
Love yourself first for a while. See how it feels. You might be surprised at how much better life gets when you stop accepting less than you deserve.
Keep going, beautiful souls. You're worth loving - especially by yourself. 💙
Sometimes the most loving thing you can do is teach people how to treat you by how you treat yourself.
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Who Loves First Wins - But Sometimes You Have to Love Yourself First 💙
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