🎙️ Episode 3: Trauma, left on Read - Discussion Thread🎙️

In this episode I talk about unresolved trauma and what it’s like, living with it.

I cover silence in Pasifika families, why so many of our people don’t use counselling, how trauma shows up in reactions and habits, and how it leaks into relationships and parenting.

I also talk about coming face to face with the man who abused me decades later, how close I came to reacting violently, what stopped me, and how much my unhealed trauma shaped the way I parented

Key takeaways from this episode

• Trauma doesn’t disappear with time, it stays within you and shows up in reactions, not just memories.

• Silence doesn’t make pain go away.

• Triggers can still hit hard decades later.

• Healing doesn’t remove feelings, it changes how you respond to them.

• Violence can feel like release, but it’s a relapse.

• How unhealed trauma builds habits like over-apologising, people-pleasing, hyper-vigilance and emotional shutdown.

• The stuff that follows you into relationships and parenting.

• Facing the impact of my own unhealed shit.

• Awareness is where change actually starts and understanding that you can’t outgrow what you won’t face.

If you want to join the talanoa, here are some potential starting points:

• What part of this episode stood out to you?

• Where do you see unresolved stuff showing up in your life now?

• Was silence part of how things were handled in your family?

• Have you noticed habits or reactions that make more sense looking at them through trauma?

• Did anything in this episode make you reflect on your relationships or your parenting?

• What’s something you’re more aware of about yourself now than you were a few years ago?

Share as much or as little as you want.

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Kaisa Khronicles

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