In this episode I talk about unresolved trauma and what itâs like, living with it.
I cover silence in Pasifika families, why so many of our people donât use counselling, how trauma shows up in reactions and habits, and how it leaks into relationships and parenting.
I also talk about coming face to face with the man who abused me decades later, how close I came to reacting violently, what stopped me, and how much my unhealed trauma shaped the way I parented
Key takeaways from this episode
⢠Trauma doesnât disappear with time, it stays within you and shows up in reactions, not just memories.
⢠Silence doesnât make pain go away.
⢠Triggers can still hit hard decades later.
⢠Healing doesnât remove feelings, it changes how you respond to them.
⢠Violence can feel like release, but itâs a relapse.
⢠How unhealed trauma builds habits like over-apologising, people-pleasing, hyper-vigilance and emotional shutdown.
⢠The stuff that follows you into relationships and parenting.
⢠Facing the impact of my own unhealed shit.
⢠Awareness is where change actually starts and understanding that you canât outgrow what you wonât face.
If you want to join the talanoa, here are some potential starting points:
⢠What part of this episode stood out to you?
⢠Where do you see unresolved stuff showing up in your life now?
⢠Was silence part of how things were handled in your family?
⢠Have you noticed habits or reactions that make more sense looking at them through trauma?
⢠Did anything in this episode make you reflect on your relationships or your parenting?
⢠Whatâs something youâre more aware of about yourself now than you were a few years ago?
Share as much or as little as you want.