Caregivers Why Do We Wait So Long to Talk About Help?

Kelli Bradley

Jul 8 • 🤨General discussion🤨

Caregiving conversations don't usually start with a plan. They start with a problem.

We wait.

We avoid.

We hope the need won't grow; these conversations are hard.

Here's how it usually goes:

"We're managing (sort of)." A patchwork of family, friends, and neighbors. It's not ideal, but it's free. It feels "good enough."

"It's getting harder." Needs change. Suddenly, it's about personal care, money, and driving. Conversations get uncomfortable. Independence is threatened. So the needle doesn't move.

"We can't do this anymore." The breaking point. You have to move." "We're done." That moment is full of grief, guilt, resentment, and often sabotage. Trust breaks.

We think love means avoiding the hard talks. But real love means having them. It means naming what's changing before it becomes a crisis. It means talking about the hard stuff—even when it's uncomfortable. It means planning so no one has to give ultimatums in anger or desperation.

Caregiving is hard enough without also feeling blindsided and betrayed.

If you're avoiding these conversations—I get it.

If you're dreading them, you're not alone.

If you've already had the "we're done" moment, I see you.

This is caregiving

It's messy.

It's human.

It's life.

You're not failing because it's hard. You're not broken for struggling. You're becoming.

— Kelli Bradley, The Devoted Daughter

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