7d • Ten-Minute Tuesdays
Ten-Minute Tuesday
What if the biggest obstacle to better communication with your horse isn't that they aren't listening to you?
What if it's that you're afraid to listen to them?
I recently had a wonderful conversation with Mary Miller Jordan of I AM HERD Mustang Sanctuary about her upcoming Celebration of the Horse-Human Relationship.
We share a belief that I think deserves more attention in the equestrian industry:
We need to become better listeners of the horse.
I think there's a reason many horse lovers struggle with this. We're afraid of what our horses might tell us. When a horse hesitates, turns away, or quietly communicates discomfort, our brains can turn that small moment into something much bigger.
"My horse doesn't like me."
"My horse doesn't want to be ridden."
"My horse will never willingly do what I want."
Suddenly, one little "no" feels like a threat to everything we've dreamed of accomplishing together. So we ignore it. We push through.
We convince ourselves the horse needs to learn to accept what we're asking but we might be missing an opportunity to learn something important.
A "no" in this moment does not mean "no" forever. It doesn't necessarily mean your horse dislikes you, doesn't trust you, or isn't capable of becoming the willing partner you envision. In the moment, they might be; uncomfortable or confused. Or maybe you need to ask differently. The only way to find out is to become curious.
And that brings me to this week's experiment.
🧪 10-Minute Tuesday: Hearing the NO
Spend ten minutes exploring how your horse responds to your approach.
With your horse loose in a safe environment or wearing a halter (not cross-tied), slowly approach one side and then the other.
Pay attention.
Does your horse follow you with their head?
Do they turn their head and neck in front of you as you approach?
Does their expression change?
Is one side different from the other?
If your horse appears to hesitate or block your approach, **stop.**
Wait.
Maybe take a step backward.
Notice what happens when you give them a little space.
Do they soften? Does their head return to neutral? Do they become more comfortable when you approach again?
Remember, no single movement tells the whole story. We're observing patterns and considering context, not assuming every head movement means rejection.
The goal isn't to convince your horse to say YES.
The goal is to become someone who recognizes when they're saying NO.
If you feel like you have a hard time doing this with your horse, practice on people, first!
How often do we do this in our relationships, workplaces, or leadership roles?
Do you become so focused on getting the response you want that you stop being curious about the response you're receiving. Do you interpret hesitation as resistance? Questions as challenges? Disagreement as rejection?
Effective communication isn't simply about delivering a clear message. It's also about being willing to adjust based on what comes back.
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