20d • General discussion
I thought I wanted a different life
There were many times when I thought my discomfort meant I wanted a different life.
Times when I was missing a lot of things. First and foremost I missed my freedom. I also missed having more time for my projects and being able to follow an idea wherever it led without having to think about school schedules, bedtime routines, or family logistics.
So I assumed the problem was fatherhood itself. But now, looking back, I don't think that was entirely true.
What I really wanted was more breathing room. Maybe a little more support. More space to remain myself inside this new role. Those are different challenges.
Because if the problem is your life, there's not much to do except fantasize about another one.
But if the problem is how you're carrying your life, then there's something you can work with.
Realizing this helped me stop treating fatherhood as the enemy and start paying attention to what was actually making it so difficult.
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I thought I wanted a different life
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