26d • General discussion
Tears on the Day I Was Left Out
I’ve been taking lessons from a teacher I truly admire.
In this class, there’s no usual “pick-up” — almost everyone gets filmed.Students can choose to dance solo, in small groups, or larger ones.
Several times, I got paired with really good dancers,but the teacher kept resetting the pairings. At first, I thought it was just a coincidence.But one day, when I asked to dance with a close friend, the teacher said, “Not this person,” and paired me with someone else.That’s when I started to notice a pattern.
Teachers often group students who have either a similar vibe or the total opposite.I get it — they probably want to balance the overall texture,and I assumed it was to avoid too big a skill gap.Since we usually get to choose our partners,I thought it would be fine as long as both sides agreed.But whenever my partner was skilled,the teacher would pair them with another strong dancer, and I’d be moved to a larger group.
It happened again recently.I was supposed to dance in a group of three.During the first run, before the camera arrived, we danced as planned.But once the camera came, time was limited,so the teacher said, “Group 1 and 2 together, group 3 and 4 together.”I was in group 3, which should’ve made six people total,but the teacher said, “Yuri, wait for now — let’s go with these five first.”And I thought, ah, again.
Those five were all more advanced than me.I’m sure the teacher had their reasons,and I don’t blame them.But in the end, I was moved to group 1 —the one for people who prefer big groups, sometimes even without being filmed.That part didn’t bother me.
What hurt was being the only one left out in front of the whole class, especially since one foreign student —the one who once said I wasn’t good —was watching. It hit hard.
I think the teacher doesn’t really like me.I somehow sensed it —from both the teacher I admire deeply and the one I love the most.I could feel their emotions without them saying anything.I don’t think they’re bad people, but when the same thing keeps happening, it still hurts.
Maybe I’m just not good enough to dance with the skilled ones.Everyone works hard, and I don’t think I’m making any special effort.But when I’m the only one excluded,I don’t know how to take it.
Teachers often say, “Have fun — dancing is all about enjoying it.”But I didn’t know how to enjoy it that day.I held it in until I got home, and then I cried.And I told myself —Don’t forget these tears.
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Tears on the Day I Was Left Out
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