May '24 (edited) • Lessons
7 emotions that are keeping you stuck (and how to deal with them)
Emotional control is a massive part of being a strong chess player. Just look at any top player in a match - they are always perfectly calm and focused. (ok not always, but most of the time)
Understanding these 7 emotions will help you deal with losing games, big losing streaks, hitting plateaus, and feeling stuck.
These negative emotions usually come from a story that we tell ourselves, or a limiting belief that we have. For example, if you lose a game it doesn't have to be a big deal. But if you tell yourself that you're a terrible player and will suck forever because you lost that game, then it becomes a problem.
So here are the 7 emotions with the stories that we tell ourselves. You probably don't resonate with all of them, but there might be a few that you feel affect you. The way to combat them is to recognise the truth by reframing how you think about the feeling, and implement some action steps that I'm about to give you. Let's go 👇
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1️⃣ Frustration
“I get stuck in long losing streaks, and I get frustrated about the lack of progress."
Positive Reframe: "Ups and downs are part of the game. Losing streaks are temporary setbacks that can be overcome with persistence."
Action steps:
- Take breaks during high frustration periods
- Zoom out into the bigger picture - losing streaks are part of the improvement process
- Identify patterns or reasons for the losing streak
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2️⃣ Self-doubt
“Inherent limitations or inadequacies as a chess player will keep me stuck forever." - e.g. too old, don't have talent etc.
Positive Reframe: "I have the ability to learn and improve with dedication and practice."
Action steps:
- Challenge negative self-talk
- Seek guidance and feedback
- Embrace a growth mindset
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3️⃣ Disappointment
“Success is only about the outcome - winning."
Positive Reframe: "Success is about progress, growth, and resilience in the face of challenges."
Action steps:
- Reframe setbacks as opportunities to test your resilience and capabilities
- Set process-oriented goals over outcome goals
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4️⃣ Impatience
“Improvement should be easy and fast. It feels like I’m doing a lot but still not getting results.”
Positive Reframe: "Progress takes time and consistent effort, and each step forward is a success."
Action steps:
- Practice patience
- Break down goals into small milestones
- Focus on the journey of improvement
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5️⃣ Overwhelm
“I must take in a vast amount of information to succeed in chess, even though I know this just leads to overwhelm.”
Positive Reframe: "Too much information leads to information overload. I can effectively manage and prioritize information to improve at chess efficiently."
Action steps:
- Seek guidance so that you can prioritize what to work on
- Active learning - apply what you learn instead of trying to learn more new things
- Apply one thing at a time
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6️⃣ Nervousness
“I believe that failure reflects inadequacy, and this makes me nervous before important matches.”
Positive Reframe: "Mistakes are opportunities for growth, the outcome doesn't affect my strength as a player."
Action steps:
- Practice regular meditation for mindfulness/focus
- Focus on the present moment during games
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7️⃣ Performance Anxiety
“I get overconfident against lower-rated players, and tend to relax. I get intimidated by higher rated players and play too passively. Both of these negatively affect my performance.”
Positive Reframe: "I focus on my own performance and improvement, regardless of my opponent's rating."
Action steps:
- Focus on strengths and areas for improvement
- Stay present during games, focus only on the current position on the board
- Recognise that the best move on the board is always the best move, regardless of your opponent's rating
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Which of those emotions affect you the most? Or are you already a master of emotional control. 🤔 Let me know in the comments!
P.S. 2 days left til the price for Chess Master XLR8 goes up. If you want to learn more about it, then click this link and watch the video on the page:
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7 emotions that are keeping you stuck (and how to deal with them)
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