That I contemplated and planned out how I was going to commit some brutal crimes against people, the first one was at 8/9 years old. The next one at 11/12…the last serious one that had all the steps planned out was at the age of 24. Wounds-abuse, confusion, mistrust, alienation
The wound is alienation…and it has continued into my adulthood , even into my marriage.
Unsent letter was sent to myself.
Before the wound I felt important and happy to exist in my world.
Moment everything changed is when I got beaten viciously and accused of being possessed by demons while I was simply living in my own imagination.
The experience took away trust in the one person in the one person in the world usually trusts…it also took away my reaction time because the things that were said to me left me in limbo, and I found myself always waiting and weighing both sides of a situation before I move.
One thing that survived was my sense of positioning that I had always saw and declared all throughout my childhood, and up in my adulthood. I never ceases from making songs, even immediately after the abuse.
now I feel authentic…where I can be as raw as I need to and the audience could feel my sincerity…but I am healed and no longer walking around with a chip on my shoulder.,