Homework Day 1 · AI For R*tards

Homework Day 1

Day 1 — Struggles & Wins (get real)

5 Struggles

-Not being there for my daughter and allowing my ex wife to be the one to really instill values in her. It feels like trash when the only time my daughter calls me is for things she wants or need. She can have a balance of both of our personalities but i wish i didn't have to fight as hard. My daughter lives full time in another state and I struggle with the fact that I miss my daughter so much it hurts. Everytime i see a picture of her That feeling of letting her down hits me like a train. I have constant thoughts of regret in not taking more of a fight in saying that i want 50/50 custody and it make me feel like a trash person/parent knowing that when i had her at the age of 22 i was not ready and could be a good Father at that point.

I struggle with the simple fact that over the last 40 years that I have been training, it's taken me the last 3 years to really understand what I needed to do personally. Looking in the mirror and really just looking at my gut made me want to throw up. you know when you put your seatbelt on and the strap goes over you chest well everytime i put a seatbelt on it felt like i was just separating my man boobs and ready to be milked. I was trash. The Guilt that felt when i put any type of food in my body made me not want to eat at all and what I need to change and what I needed to do to achieve the way I wanted to look.
I struggle with the simple fact that I don’t know why I have impulsive spending because my parents grew up with a frugal mindset but still the value of a dollar was never really pushed so it always felt like a chore when it came to having to saving. This wave of Fomo hits me like a wave and then i spend with full guilt and i feel like trash.
I never think I have enough money to support the things I want to achieve in life or I don’t feel like I am able to support my daughter the way I want to. It sucks having my daughter reach out wanting more and i have to scrap to give her what she wants /needs. My parents always said yes and im having to say no and that just makes me feel worthless
Not being good enough for my daughter or my partner always has me on the edge wondering if chasing after this goal of a happy life with a partner who also bodybuild's is just to good to be true and I will continue to let people down with the choices I made financially and personally. It like i waiting to step on the wrong branch while i climb a tree and that's the one that will end it all.

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5 Contrasting Wins:

BUG :Even though I do not get to see my daughter on a daily or even weekly basis, I do have an amazing relationship with her that I am so grateful for. I watch her practice her sports and it just motivates me to really push so she understands what it takes. Im not present at the events but i know she knows how hard to push herself and what its like being a student athlete so it feels good when we talk about the process of practice and im showing her she will never have to stop chasing a goal no matter what.
Trust the process: I look back over the changes that I have made to my physique and that keeps me going in the right direction. I have learned to trust my body in the process and now I know I have more control over my body. The food, the way I look at my body. It is a constant, but I work toward it every day. I stand on stage pretty much naked and it makes me happy.
Patience: practice patience with wanting to buy or HAVE something now or do think of a positve way to use this monsey send a gift to my daughter plan a trip etc. I also think to myself “do I deserve this?” and then I have to really stop and remind myself that it's more a matter of “do I need this” now. At least that is how I am trying to work on is this a need vs a want.
Knowledge : I'm a learner. this kills me cause it was something i was never good at school and could never meet the expectations of my teachers but put something in front of me like a new small buisness im going to learn the ins and outs. I have started to want learn for my furture and really start to create a blue print for life and its exciting.
SELF VALUE: I embrace the moments of love and clarity that I am shown by those who truly love me. I embrace those singular moments and I truly accept love more now than I did before and remind myself that there is worth in their eyes.

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Circled Contrasting Win (to use this week): .

Hook Activity: Write 3 Curiosity Loop Hooks: Trust the Process

Hooks-

I never thought I could enjoy the process and still transform my body — but Bodybuilding is what changed everything.
You’ve been taught that structure means restriction, but what if real structure feels like freedom?