2d • General discussion
Day 29 - Why the Simple Things Start to Matter More
Recently, I asked my community (On Facebook) a simple question:
What feels more meaningful now than it used to?
I expected answers about success.
Money.
Opportunities.
But that’s not what people said.
They said:
Family.
A relationship with my mom.
Life.
Silence.
And that stopped me.
Because those aren’t flashy answers.
They’re not impressive.
But they are powerful.
And I think there’s a reason those answers show up — especially after struggle.
🧠 When Struggle Reorders Your Values
I’ve noticed something.
When life is comfortable, we chase more.
More validation.
More achievement.
More noise.
But when you go through something hard — addiction, burnout, loss, emotional chaos — something shifts.
Your values get rearranged.
The things you used to overlook become the things you protect.
You stop asking, “What can I gain?”
And you start asking, “What actually matters?”
And that’s when answers like family and silence start rising to the surface.
👨👩👧 Family
One person wrote: “Family.”
Simple. One word.
But that word carries history.
Sometimes it means:
Rebuilding trust.
Healing broken communication.
Learning to be present again.
Realizing the people who stayed.
Family becomes meaningful when you realize not everyone stays.
When you’ve pushed people away.
When you’ve been distant.
When you’ve almost lost connection.
Suddenly, sitting at a table together isn’t ordinary anymore.
It’s sacred.
And maturity often looks like appreciating what was always there.
👩👧 Relationship With My Mom
Another person said:
“Relationship with my Mom.”
That’s deep.
Because relationships with parents aren’t always simple.
As we grow, something changes.
We stop seeing our parents as just authority figures.
We start seeing them as human.
With flaws.
With wounds.
With stories we never understood before.
Sometimes healing isn’t dramatic.
Sometimes it’s a conversation.
A moment of empathy.
A decision to forgive.
And when that relationship improves, it feels meaningful in a way success never could.
Because reconciliation carries weight.
Growth carries weight.
🌱 Life
Someone just wrote: “Life.”
That word hits differently depending on what you’ve survived.
There’s a version of you that once complained about everything.
Deadlines.
Stress.
Inconvenience.
And then there’s the version of you that almost lost perspective.
After struggle, you don’t wake up the same.
You start noticing:
Breath.
Sunlight.
Ordinary moments.
Life stops being assumed.
It becomes appreciated.
And that shift?
That’s maturity.
That’s awakening.
🤫 Silence
And then… silence.
This might be my favorite one.
Because silence used to feel uncomfortable.
When you’re used to chaos — noise feels normal.
Distraction feels safe.
Busyness feels productive.
But silence forces you to sit with yourself.
And that can be scary.
Yet after growth, after healing, after clarity…
Silence stops feeling empty.
It starts feeling peaceful.
Silence becomes:
Safety.
Grounding.
Stability.
And that’s when you know you’ve changed.
🔁 Closing Reflection
So when I read those responses — family, relationship with my mom, life, silence — I didn’t see small answers.
I saw growth.
I saw people whose priorities have shifted.
People who have learned.
People who have survived something.
If what feels meaningful to you now is quieter… simpler… deeper…
That’s not weakness.
That’s evolution.
And if you want to be part of these kinds of conversations, join the community.
The most powerful insights don’t come from me.
They come from people willing to reflect honestly.
And sometimes, the most meaningful things in life…
are the ones we once ignored.
Yours in Recovery,
Dr Oyebanre
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Day 29 - Why the Simple Things Start to Matter More
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