While watching this video by rey "God did not put you here to be good" I realised how much my life decisions are effected by people around me, just keep them happy, satisfied and pleased. This morning I skipped my meditation and just sit in silence, very early in the morning, I was just looking around and feeling the peace. From my last post i learned a lot, I'm carrying too much pressure, fear, guilt, expectations and responsibilities. I just surrender and give them all to god 😊🙌🏼 i bring back my power. Nobody can scare me, not even my parents, society, or their rule and culture. Recently from last few months I was in rush to start content creation, to connect with people, to shoot my life to present myself as a niche. I was handling tons of syallabus from college, too much pressure for entrence exams. Not anymore, today I realised this year is going to end soon, i need to create difference now. Without any expectations and responsibilities I'm giving myself permission to rest, to choose what I feel intrested in, to love, to talk with myself. In my family I'm the only person who is interested in spirituality, I'm different form them, I have some goods and bads, but in all these... instead of connected to god, when did I start beating myself to fit in the perfect mold of spiritual and peaceful girl?? That video really helped me. And now I'm not beating myself anymore. Today I cried a lot. I'm just sitting around here and there and thinking. It's time to choose who really I am and stop with this ego and beliefs drama. I'll update you all with my new journey in next post 😊🤗 And thanks rey, your video opened my eyes it's just me and God. Nothing else. God bless you all ❤️‍🩹 Ruru ;)

This is a painting I did of the sun setting over the Oregon coast. It's a Christmas gift for my mom. She grew up in Oregon and we all spent our summers up there growing up. It has always been a magical place for me. The forests, the ocean, the misty atmosphere, the seafood. A far cry from the desert where I live now. When I think about being there, on that beach, watching that sunset - I am experiencing all those things now, in the present moment. When I think about going to work tomorrow and the things I have to do, that is happening now, not tomorrow. The only experience we can ever have is now. All thoughts, emotions, feelings, being itself, happens now. Now is eternal.

I know I shouldn't share something so personal like this, but I think I do want to express myself finally. It's a lot to handle alone while I have so many goals. 😔 I don't wanna play victim or weak because I'm strong, but this thing breaks me each time. It's related toy family. One of the video of rey where he was talking about manifesting love partner or something, in that video he was talking about how our environment effect our reality, like if your parents are loving then you experience love and if not then it's get difficult (I'm sorry my words are not clear 🙆🏽‍♀️🙇🏽‍♀️ So basically this thing is same in my family, my father, very strict, dominant, discriminate women and follow society lke they pay for his bills And my mother is shadow of my father, she is kind but cruel at the same time 😥 I'm a student nd I'm a daughter their behaviour towards my brother is way different then towards me. Everyone order's me around to do stuff, they basically force me to do everything, I'm not lying, legit everything by their slang "once you'll get married you'll have to do all these" I can even refuse otherwise they manipulate me My brother is way Older then me, his marriage is next year while I'm a student and yet my father is saying he'll decide my brothers marriage and then the very next year they'll decide mine too?? First a fall I'm already facing discrimination, manipulation, inequality, toxicity, patriarchal, and all the bad things in my house. Yet I do follow my spiritual path with strong conviction with believe that I have to become a teacher, I want to get a good job, I want to move out, i want to find my love on my own and will marry someday happily. But my family perspective towards this is different, they are ruining my mental health 🥹🥺 constant discrimination and expectations, constant marriage talk and all of these society wrong standards. It's all ruining my peace. I try to avoid their talk, I do help around and avoid overthinking, but it's not helping 🥺 i always get sad and effected when they talk about marriages and planning. I don't want to hate them, but I do.

Ruru here 🙆🏽‍♀️❤️‍🩹 Honestly I already joined few community and i always love to write my introduction it's a never ending step ;) I'm a college student, preparing to become a teacher for middle and junior school 🥰❤️‍🩹 I have lot's of intrest, I'm a Hindu but I love learning from all religions, i practice spirituality on a regular basis, I read shrimad bhagvad geeta daily, i practice to chant holy name. I love doing meditation, early morning before the sun comes up. I often spend time on self-care, learning nature ways for health issues, i love sketching, I talk a lot in front of camera, i love shooting my life, I love cooking definitely not cleaning. 😉 There are multiple things that I'm dealing with so I would like to share but maybe next time 😊 Third the journey itself, i always learn new things and implying it in my life. My goals are set and I'm just walking on whatever path god choosed for me. I will try to interact more but currently I'm busy with lot's of assignments.🙃 Have a great time you all, lot's of blessings 🥰❤️‍🩹