Working from home with kids is a whole different story and I think I forgot just how much. Because normally it’s just me and Lily. She’s 13, she’s very self-sufficient, I can work, I can think, I can actually function. But this week, I’ve had the grandkids here and it’s been chaos. I couldn’t even have my quiet time in the morning to do anything they were up early, so that space I normally have. Just gone. And I was still getting up, still trying to work but I just couldn’t do as much as I wanted to. There were just so many distractions going on around me, constantly. And it’s not even just “busy” it’s constant. Like, there has to be someone in the room at all times- noise, meltdowns, people talking, needing something, every time I move into another room, they follow me. I even said the other day “I can’t type or text when people are talking around me because I’ll literally start typing what they’re saying.” That’s where my brain gets to. So trying to get anything done like that, it’s just, really hard. And I think that’s the bit. I felt like I failed a bit. Because in my head I’m like you should be doing more, you need to be doing more But my brain just couldn’t comprehend it. Because you can’t switch off, you can’t think straight, you can’t focus, and you’re still trying to show up and get things done. But, this is the shift I’ve had this week, I’m not beating myself up about it anymore. Because I still worked. I still showed up. I just didn’t do as much as I thought I “should”. And normally I’d go to bed thinking for f sake you didn’t do this, you didn’t do that, but this week it’s been different I’ve been like actually, I got so much done in the house that needed doing, and I feel lighter for it. Because sometimes it’s not that you’re not doing enough it’s that you’re trying to function like everything’s normal when it’s not. How are you actually coping this half term honestly? PS - If you’re feeling overwhelmed, reactive, like your brain just can’t function with everything going on, this is exactly what I support mums through.

I don’t know if anyone else has had this… but you know when you’ve got loads going on, like life stuff, big changes, loads to sort out… and you’re sat there thinking “I should be working”… but your head is just all over the place… that was me last week I was getting so frustrated with myself because I wanted to be working, but I wasn’t actually doing much, and my head just felt like a complete mess… I was literally standing in the shower every day trying to clear my head because that’s the only place I could actually think straight for a minute… and then I’d try and do a bit of work… and it made me feel worse because I’d look at everything that needed doing and just think… where do I even start… and I realised something that I think a lot of us do… we try and do EVERYTHING at once and then end up doing nothing properly and then we make that mean something about us when actually… it’s just too much all at once so now I’m just breaking everything right down into really small things, like proper micro things, instead of trying to tackle the whole lot in one go and already it feels lighter still a lot going on… but at least I can actually move again instead of just standing there overthinking everything does anyone else get like this when life and business collide a bit…

I keep checking my analytics… and I know I need to stop. And it’s not even coming from a bad place, that’s the thing. It’s not like I’m sat there panicking thinking “oh my god nothing’s happening”… it’s actually the opposite. I’m excited. Like when I looked at TikTok yesterday and saw one of my carousels had over 2,000 views, I was like… no, no, no, no… what?! And then the others were over 1,000 and my last video was over 600 and I’ve had new followers, people saving, liking, sharing… and I was buzzing. Proper buzzing. But then I caught myself… because I keep going back and checking it. Like opening it again and again and again… and I’m like what am I actually doing? Because the reality is… the growth isn’t coming from me staring at the numbers. It’s coming from me doing the work. And I think this is where it’s really easy to get caught… because when things START working, you want to watch it. You want to see it. You want to keep checking that it’s still happening. But the thing that actually got it moving… wasn’t the checking. It was the doing. It was me actually showing up, doing the A–Z, trying the carousels, putting things out there in different ways, just getting it done instead of overthinking it. And I’m loving it as well, that’s the other thing. I’m actually enjoying creating it. I’m enjoying seeing how one piece of content can turn into multiple things, like I can take the transcript and turn it into written posts, turn it into something else, it’s not just one and done. So yeah… little call out to myself really. Because it’s easy to get pulled into watching the results… instead of continuing to create them. And I know I won’t be the only one that does this… so be honest… are you actually doing the work… or are you just checking to see if it’s working? P.S - if you are tiktoking, come check it out here

I’m not even being dramatic when I say… I’m shook. I’ve got someone ready to upgrade right now…but because they’re not tech-savvy, it’s suddenly a whole thing 😩 Like… it should NOT be this hard! I’ve already spoken to support, they’re aware of it and working on it but there’s no ETA on a fix. And yeah, the workaround they gave is helpful. BUT it assumes people have a computer and feel confident using it. And let’s be real, not everyone does. So now I’m sat here with a member who wants to upgrade and literally can’t. Which is wild. Now I’m wondering. Other community owners did you know this? Because I genuinely didn’t. 💭 And tell me have you ever had someone ready to buy or upgrade but the tech made it harder than it needed to be?

I applied for something a role I really wanted and I didn’t get it, and do you know what, when I got the feedback back, they were right, and that’s the bit that hit me the most because I couldn’t even argue it, I could see exactly what I’d done. So she said she loved my energy on a recent group call I joined, loved how I came across, felt really drawn to me… and then she read my responses and it just didn’t match that at all, she said it felt like AI, really formal and not aligned with how I showed up. And I was just sat there like… for fuck’s sake, because I knew, I knew exactly what had happened. I went straight back into what I can only describe as my Social Worker brain, like structured, professional, report-writing mode, and I didn’t even think about it, I just defaulted, questions… answers underneath… Google doc… the whole thing like I used to do for court reports. And this is where my brain does what it does… because I’m dyslexic, because of how I was trained, because of masking if I’m really honest… I have this “safe” way of communicating that sounds right, sounds professional, ticks the boxes…Plus with my Autism I mirror things that I see, things like dashes and dots. …but it’s not actually me. And I’ve done SO much work on using my voice, like really using it, showing up as me, saying things how I actually say them, not overthinking every word… and then on one thing, one simple task, I just slipped straight back into that version of me that knows how to be accepted… but doesn’t actually reflect who I am now. That’s the bit that peed me off. Not that I didn’t get it… but that I abandoned myself in that moment without even realising. And I think this is where neurodiversity comes into it in a way people don’t always talk about… that default settingthat maskingthat “this is how I SHOULD say it” voice it’s fast… it’s automatic… and it often kicks in when something matters. So I messaged her back and I just owned it, explained it properly, didn’t try and dress it up, just said yeah… that’s exactly what I did.