Agreed upon partnership - long post
The "Money In Relationships" session was great. One thing I can say about my husband and I, we made our decision as to what our financial relationship was going to be like. We cut out the noise from others and focused on what would work for us. With an accounting background I had to be willing to teach and learn. We understood that we both came from different backgrounds. My mom became a single parent and raised my sister and I to be financially independent. My husband's parents raised boys but did not know anything about finances. They just made ends meet. He knows more about fixing things which saves us a lot of money. He taught me to use a lawn mower, snow blower, etc. I taught him how to budget and save. Our approach is to use our budget and split the bills. This approach works best for us so that no one feels they are paying more than the other. We have a household account (includes an emergency fund) to pay bills. The only excess in this account is for emergencies. Any additional funds that each of us have can be used any way we want. We each have our own individual account. At one point my husband thought I was not being fair with bills because I had more 401k and savings then him but once I explained why he soon changed his habits and started to save more. He stopped buying a new car every 5 years where I only bought a car every 10 years. I started contributing to my 401k as soon as I was eligible. When he realized the benefit of free money (company match) he started investing. We are now financially independent and both retired early. I would say that communicating even when it was difficult helped us to get past many hurdles. We both realize that our perspectives are different and that doesn't mean one person is right and the other's perspective is wrong. It just means that we are different.