Many times, it is the toxic patterns playing out enough times for us to have enough data to begin seeing them - and then getting to the root cause... I was on a mission to heal my emotional triggers & spirals for decades - and while on the healing journey could not see the toxic patterns that I kept (subconsciously/automatically) falling into along the way... My toxic patterns kept showing up in romantic relationships, even though I succeeded in other areas of my life. I had 5 divorces in 30 years. Yeah you read that right. Like Elizabeth Taylor haha... and also like Elizabeth Taylor playing the role of Cleopatra - I was also playing a similar role of Cleopatra (Queen of Denial) haha... I love a play on words! Anyhow, through finally finding IFS which was the technique that got to the deepest layers of my subconcsious and healed my core wounds causing these patterns, I learned that we actually choose our mates/partners/lovers from our Core Wounds... Our Core Wounds are screaming for someone to come along (in our external world) who look similar to the original perpetrator of our wound, so that the new person can love us and accept us as our savior... The adult person needs to look similar to the original perpetrator so the wound can come close to having a "re-do" and making everything correct once again... However, it never works out that way. Because the adult look-alike has similar traits as the original perpetrator, and needs their own emotional healing. Hence them being a perpetrator. The scheme backfires, and then the original belief held by the Core Wound (I'm not worthy, I'm helpless, I'm alone, I'm not love-able, etc) gets cemented in deeper by this scar tissue now on top of the original core wound because it "confirmed" the original wounded inner belief to be "true". And the wheels on the bus go round-and-round. Until we stop the bus. And learn to do the inner work with our Protector Parts and Exile Parts who hold the core wounds - and still hold the experience as if it's still actively happening today in present day.

Go to the Parenting with Sarah G. block in the Classroom Tab to watch the replay and learn about emotional regulation tools for children, IEP intro, the necessity of play for child development, and more!

I'll be speaking on January 30 🤩 There's at least one speaker each day, all things Holistic Healing! Check it out here: https://www.skool.com/evergreen-evolution-6811/about?ref=cc1ca920688d4499bd56a5b93022c1d3 Watch Live for Free, and pay $33 for Lifetime Access to Recordings 💖