Looking forward to hearing how your lunar eclipse was and talking about whatever else is coming up! xo, z Join Zoom Meeting https://us06web.zoom.us/j/88910312829?pwd=HeHvJbS2D4IAAsjTYb9b4pzZezvvb7.1 Meeting ID: 889 1031 2829 Passcode: 672072

A client mentioned wanting to learn how to control their nervous system this week and it was a real aha moment for me, I often talk about how we are not trying to be calm all the time but didn't realize folks were out there thinking they could control the nervous system...which we cannot. The very name of the aspect of the nervous system we are focusing on here is the autonomic nervous system, meaning automatic. It is a function of the body which is subconscious, much like the beating of our heart and digesting of the food. You cannot control, stop or start it. You can however support, understand and respond to the messages/information it offers through nervous system resourcing! What are some examples you can think of times when you could not control the nervous system?

Well friends, the opportunities to test out this nervous system stuff never end with this house experience! Last night I received an angry call from a neighbor, I had been told when I bought the house that her fence was 11 feet into "my" property and that I would need to work with her to move it. I had emailed her and hadn't heard back so had then called and left a message. She then called me later, super upset, telling me how angry she was with me and how she was going to call the police if I touched her fence! I was shocked! She kept referencing her lawyer's letter and when I finally got her calmed down, I was like, what letter are you talking about? She had emailed me twice with a whole bunch of information about how it is her property and that she would fight me and win and defend her property and all this stuff, but I had never received it. We tried sending new emails and still I didn't get any and then finally my nervous system calmed down enough for me to have the idea that I could check my spam folder and there they were. I read it through and it's a grey area for sure but I don't care enough to fight so I just said, ok, let's just let it go. I took care of myself last night with some gentle movement and reached out to some friends to connect about it and went to sleep still feeling a bit wary of her and the experience but relatively peacefully. Then this morning as I was journaling, I heard a knock at the door. It was the internet company saying they needed to dig an internet line in. I was like sure and went upstairs. Then I got a call and it was her again, super angry saying "your man is digging in my yard and I'm calling the police!" I was like, no, it's not "my man" and it is just the internet company and I didn't ask them to do that and I didn't know they were in your yard, so I went down and sure enough they were over there and I was like the neighbor is going to call the police and they were like, we don't need her permission and let her go ahead, and I was trying to navigate all of it and then she was like, I'm in a yoga class I have to go and hung up! WOAH! What a wild ride! I certainly reminded that any dream can be a nightmare and any nightmare can be a dream. This simulation is offering me up so many "problems" but thank goodness for my dear AB (accountability partner) @Jason Slenys who keeps reminding me to see the possibilities. So the possibility here is for me to continually offer up the fantasy that "everything will work out the way I want," to continually come back to letting go of the need for people, places and things to do what I think is best, to act in the way that I think is "right." This neighbor is my new teacher, and boy is her method effective! I sent her an email explaining the situation to the best of my ability, and I am noticing that my impulse was to stop her from calling the police, when really, I could let her do what is right for her and trust that I can experience having someone call the police on me, why should I not have that experience. Why should I not have any experience really. This game does not make sense, in it people do and experience all sorts of things, some "good" some "bad' and everything in between. Now I am going to go do some movement as I am definitely mobilized! Big hugs on this already very exciting Tuesday morning! xo, z

So I waited all day to write about this because I really still can't believe it is true! Before bed last night I was talking with dear @Jason Slenys and we were talking about the house and how I'm working on seeing the possibilities and not problems and I said "this house is going to get me to find my peace no matter what" and he replied with "SANCTUARY" and at first I was like, huh? And then I thought, wow what a beautiful way to think of this house, I wrote, "Oh wow, what a word! You know what, sanctuary is the perfect name for this house! I'm going to start calling it the sanctuary, it is where I am going to connect with the divinity of all things, the obstacles, the pain, the loss, all of it! I gotta get me some stained glass windows!!" And then I went to sleep. And in the morning, as I was half waking up half dreaming, I saw myself zooming through my house blessing and being grateful for every aspect and then I opened my eyes and this is what I saw!!!! I was like what, stained glass?!? and then as I woke up more I remembered that last night in the dark, I had put up a new curtain of patchwork recycled saris from India (I've been wanting these curtains for years and finally bought them and they were almost sent back to India and I just picked them up yesterday and hug them last night so A LOT of things had to come together in perfect timing for this all to happen! I hadn't seen the light shining through yet, and this is how it looked! I still can't believe it! The house brought several more stressful experiences today but in the back of my mind I kept thinking about how this is my stained glass sanctuary, a place that will hold me in Divine presence, just wow 💖 xo, z What are some beautiful synchronicities you've experienced?

One of the tricky things about this time space reality is that the whole thing is set up on the good/bad paradigm. Our very nervous system requires there to be a good guy and a bad guy, for us to feel safe or not safe there has to be a threat. We can make the threat ourselves or someone else, and when we have a lot of practice and skill and resourcing we can sometimes access a place where there is no danger and no more bad guys because we allow 'life to life" (thanks Jessa Reed). But in those times when people don't have skill/practice/resourcing, they have to find a bad guy to fight against/flee from/freeze to avoid and we are very likely to experience being somebody's bad guy from time to time. One of the most precious gifts my ex has given me is the opportunity to get comfortable being her bad guy. It took me a long time, but now I feel pretty ventral about it. This week, I've been my friend's bad guy during this vacay and it caught me by surprise and I resisted. But just like it's way more scary and dangerous when you resist a wild wave (learned that first hand today in 5-7' intense waves), when you resist being someone's bad guy by trying to convince them otherwise or fawning or walking on eggshells or any other tactic, you can get pounded! So grateful I have you all and so many good people in my life right now who can remind me that it is safe to be her bad guy and other than what I am thinking and believing, I am totally ok! How do you all relax into the wave of being someone's bad guy?