At 11 years old, innocent and pure, A touch that left me feeling unsure, Inappropriate and unwanted, it was, Leaving me feeling broken because Of the way he violated my being, Leaving me scarred and not seeing My worth or value in this world, As his hands on me unfurled. I felt so much worse, so disgusted, As if my innocence had been busted, That day I started to hate myself, Thinking I was at fault for the wealth Of emotions swirling within me, Confusion, shame, and misery, Why did he think it was okay To touch me in that terrible way? As I grew older, I began to understand, The pain that lingered like shifting sand, Why it felt worse to me than anything, Because of the violation it did bring. No means no, a simple truth, But for some, it’s lost in youth, Maybe one day, I’ll find someone Who will say, “It wasn’t your fault, hun.” You didn’t do anything wrong, It was him, who doesn’t belong In your space, invading your being, Leaving you scarred and not seeing Your true worth and beauty inside, For his actions, he must abide By the consequences of his choice, To silence your innocent voice. I long for the day when I’ll find Someone whose touch is kind, Whose physical presence I’ll feel Comfortable around, making it real. But for now, I’ll heal and grow, Learning to let my true self show, Not defined by the touch of another, But by the love I have for my own mother. I am strong, I am worthy, I am loved, No longer feeling broken and shoved Into a corner of shame and fear, For I am rising, strong and clear. In the dark of night, I find my light, Shining bright with all my might, No longer a victim, but a survivor, Of the touch that left me feeling lesser. I am reclaiming my power, my voice, No longer silenced or without choice, For I am a force to be reckoned with, No longer defined by that terrible myth. I am a woman, strong and true, No longer feeling the residue Of his touch on my skin, For I am healing, rising within. So to all who have felt this pain,

In the quiet of the night, I find solace In the rhythm of my feet as they move to the beat To heal I dance, letting go of my worries Letting the music wash over me like a gentle breeze But even as I dance, I know That the pain I feel runs deep It lurks in the shadows of my mind Waiting to surface when I least expect it So I escape, into the arms of sleep Where dreams become my reality And for a moment, I am free Free from the weight of the world on my shoulders I sleep a lot, seeking refuge In the soft embrace of the night Hoping that when I wake, things will be different That the demons inside me will have disappeared But reality has a way of creeping back in The harsh light of day shining on my vulnerabilities Revealing the cracks in my facade And the scars that line my heart To be happy, I read a lot Losing myself in the pages of a book Finding peace in the words of others Their stories becoming my own But even as I read, I know That happiness is fleeting That the joy I feel is only temporary And that eventually, I will have to face the world again So I turn to writing, my pen dancing across the page Trying to put into words the turmoil inside me But often the words fall short Leaving me frustrated and alone I am bad at expressing myself The emotions swirling inside me like a storm Threatening to overwhelm me at any moment Leaving me gasping for air in a sea of feelings I am an overthinker, my mind racing Trying to make sense of the chaos But it never works, the pieces never quite fitting together Leaving me feeling lost and confused I am emotionally unstable The slightest things setting me off Sending me spiraling into darkness And pushing me further from the light But still, I dance And I sleep And I read And I write Hoping that one day I will find peace That the wounds inside me will heal And that the words left unsaid Will find their way out Into the world, and into the light

Can your heart stand it? Ears flaming as they hear Mind going in circles Dare to hear truth spoken Spineless now your body will wither I can’t help but laugh, not sure If I can keep a straight face Telling truth anymore, wonder No dear, take my lies instead They will comfort like a warm blanket Reassure you that all is well Continue to believe your lies, my lies CDK 5-13-26

Opposite of what I knew Had a big heart that was true Give anyone anything needed Not selfish no, generous decreed Your wish was to make me happy You knew my past, determined crappy You were different in so many ways Sickness brought anger, bitter days No longer did you smile for no reason Hardly enjoyed any holiday seasons Misery became your friend in life Misery caused contention and strife You haven’t been happy in many years Say hateful words, I hold back my tears I thought our love would always be strong Love wilted as a rose without water too long Now we are living just as roommates No longer living as someone who dates Too many years of strife come between us Then when I got sick you really were a doofus Spoke as if I were deaf and couldn’t hear My heart broken, empty void of any cheer I had become a burden to you now Whispers, regrets, spoken loudly. Wow! Now I’m better and wish to leave Your grasp gets tighter wish to cleave It’s too late now, damage is done Rainy days have blocked my sun. I wish to live what life is left Happy not miserable or effed. CDK 5-13-26

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