I didn’t even know what a doula was during my first pregnancy. I thought being “prepared” meant taking the classes, reading the books, and trusting that the “experts” around me would give me the full picture. And when things became overwhelming, I believed I had no choice but to go along with what I was being told. When my pregnancy suddenly became more complicated, I was told: “You need a c-section. Now.” I was shocked, scared, and grieving the birth I had always imagined for myself. I remember asking about other options. Asking for more information. Asking for time to think. Instead of feeling supported, I felt pressured. I was essentially told: Do this, or you and your baby could die. So I complied. And for years, I carried this feeling deep down that I hadn’t been given the full picture. That fear had driven the decision more than true informed consent. But I pushed it aside. Mostly. Until years later, while reviewing my medical records as I prepared for my VBAC, I realized I hadn’t been told the whole story…in fact, I was lied to. That realization changed me. It angered me. It lit a fire in me I can’t fully explain. And listen, I’m not denying that I was sick or that my pregnancy had become more complex. I’m also not anti c-section. C-sections save lives every single day, and sometimes birth truly does not go according to plan. But two things can be true at once: An intervention can be necessary… and a woman can still deserve better communication, better support, and truly informed decision making. Women deserve the space to ask questions without fear. To understand their options. To feel supported instead of cornered during vulnerable moments. I often wonder how different my experience could have felt if I’d had someone in my corner reminding me: You have options. You can ask questions. You deserve to fully understand what’s happening before making big decisions about your body and your baby. That’s a huge part of why I do this work now. Not to “save” women from interventions… because sometimes interventions are absolutely lifesaving. But to help women walk into birth informed, supported, confident, and connected to their voice before those big decisions ever have to be made.

@Lisa Vee thank you so much! Back to the drawing board! :)

@Teejay Crawford I’ll have to look more into this. Thank you!

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