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18 contributions to The Proactive Parent Community
They know what you said, but not what you meant
Tell me if this sounds familiar... A mother tells her son, "go pack your backpack" In her mind, that means: -Notebook inside -Lunchbox inside -Water bottle inside -Etc... But her son doesn't see the same picture in his head. So he puts his notebook inside the backpack, then wanders off to play again. A few minutes later, she sees the lunchbox and water bottle still sitting on the counter. She says, "I thought I told you to pack your backpack." He says, "I did" Now they're both standing there confused. Can you relate to this scene? I've noticed some parents lose patience in moments like this...thinking that kids are being lazy, disrespectful, or just not listening. But sometimes the real issue is that kids don't have the same expectations as their parents. I call this Finish Line Fog™. Finish Line Fog is when "done" looks obvious to the parent, but the idea of "done" is still not clear to the child. Kids can't consistently hit a target they don't clearly see. So here's one practice you can try today. Before your child starts a task, ask them: “What will it look like when this task is done?” Then help them name two or three visible signs. For example: “The toys are inside the basket.” “The books are back on the shelf.” “The floor is clear enough to walk across.” This practice gives you both the same clear picture and makes the finish-line look less foggy. --- Think about one responsibility in your home... Can your child clearly show you what done looks like, or does the complete picture still live inside your head? If you've ever been confused about why kids don't do what you asked them, then the root cause might be Finish Line Fog™ But that's only 1 of 4 patterns I've seen, that keeps parents confused and in an endless cycle of reminders. So I've created a tool to help you uncover these hidden patterns before they get worse as your child grows and responsibilities get bigger. It's called The Responsibility Readiness Check. It's a 9 question assessment that takes about 3 minutes.
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2 members have voted
They know what you said, but not what you meant
2 likes • 4d
@Alexander So 🧡
A Beautiful Find on YouTube.... Nalah and Her Dad
I came across this the other day in The YouTube Algorithm, and it speaks to my heart so many levels. As a fellow steward of child, supporting our children in developing their gifts, that inner dog or toughness and knowing when to activate and when to leave it off. Also, if I recall, in the sessions that I have connected with you all, I know there are some moms with athletes and young men with gifts, and this could be helpful for them. If you are not currently showcasing or capturing video of their gifts, it is something you may want to start doing. Of course, never wear yourself out. At the same time, creating a body of work for them or showcasing their gifts can serve not only as an external help. I feel when we go back and look at ourselves and things that we have overcome or what we have accomplished, it can be INCREDIBLY edifying. Let me know you all's thought. Peace, love, and Progress. Nalah didn’t want to compete today https://youtube.com/shorts/2WwZj_7QYv0?si=nyL4UsSxWhElzDvc
2 likes • 6d
@Stacy Casson Yes, Stacy, Yes. Him showing up and honoring her state by letting by recognizing where she was and letting her know whether she participated or not, he was there. It was beautiful to see and witness.
1 like • 5d
@Devin Trent Yes sir.🖤
"Why do I have to keep reminding them?"
Yesterday, I told you about a pattern I've noticed across many families. I call it The Reminder Loop. It's a cycle that usually looks something like this: You ask your child to do something, and eventually it gets done. But the task never truly transfers from your head to their habits. So the next morning, afternoon, or bedtime...you gotta remind them all over again. And after a while, you start wondering: "I know they know what to do, so why do I have to keep reminding them?" Here's what I've noticed... The Reminder Loop usually boils down to one of four patterns: 1-Sometimes kids don't have a clear picture of what "done" looks like. 2-Sometimes there's no system that tells them when to start. 3-Sometimes parents take over the task because it feels faster and easier 4-And sometimes, kids wait to see if parents really meant what they said...before taking you seriously the first time. These patterns can look similar on the surface, but each one needs a different response. So I created a tool to help parents spot these patterns before they get worse as your child grows up. The tool is called The Responsibility Readiness Check. It's a 9 question assessment that takes about 3 minutes. It'll give you immediate results, and it's free. Tap here to take 👇 The Responsibility Readiness Check https://skoo.ly/reminder-loop Your results will include one simple next step to help your kid be more responsible with less reminders from you.
"Why do I have to keep reminding them?"
2 likes • 5d
🖤
Question: Young ladies Mentorship
Peace and wellness @Devin Trent and The PPC Fam, checking to see if anyone in here has young ladies or knows any young ladies who could benefit from mentorship. Ages 14-18. Thanks in advance.
1 like • 8d
@Devin Trent 💚Thanks Devin.
1 like • 7d
@Devin Trent 💛
Mama Song Inspo aka Inspiration - Mama didn't fold
Peace, wellness, and progress @Devin Trent and to Proactive Parent Community Fam sharing this track. Love the vibe. Inspiring & Encouraging. https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=xooKHcpCumI&si=1ZGDZi4AdpbrBFKK
1 like • 10d
@Devin Trent 🤍
2 likes • 10d
@Stacy Casson 🤍
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Ashley Jasper Styles
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@ashley-jasper-5171
The Renaissance Coach - Your Partner in Progress Protagonist ENFJ-A Passionate Subconscious & Authentic Voice Engineer for Creatives

Active 12h ago
Joined Apr 29, 2026