In times of uncertainty, especially when there is a lot of cultural catastrophizing, I like to remind myself of what I've already lived through and the resources I have....here is a short list for me, would love to hear what might be on your list! xo, z

I've used the free insight timer for meditations for years now but didn't realize there were free live yoga classes on there! I'm going to try this yin yoga class today if anyone is interested!

What's yours? Mine is the 37th and I just am relistening today, so fascinating that the first opening line is about the balancing of the male and female poles, next time someone asks why I'm trans enby, I'll just blame it on the gene keys 🤣 but seriously it's so validating to read about how my whole life has been about this journey from weakness to tenderness, wrestling with the unfairness of life, my own weakness, allowing for tenderness, surrender vs submission and literally finding that "life worth living" and integrated self love. If I could write a summary of my life experience, the struggles and the discoveries, this would be it. The perceived weakest link is the binding force of potentially bringing the whole of your life into harmony. "The 37th gift is such a healthy energy for any community.....Freedom engenders loyalty. We support the tree when it's young and then it stands tall on its own....Polarities, a courtship of the opposing forces within," just endlessly fascinated by this. Would love to hear you all's! xo, z

Many folks out there talking about "nervous system regulation" are conveying that a "good" person or a "healed" person has a "calm" nervous system all the time and that we should try and avoid being "activated." The word regulated comes from the root word for rules. A regulated nervous system is one that follows the rules of the design of the nervous system, it can move flexibly according to the situation and go into and out of sympathetic (mobilized) and dorsal (immobilized). On the physical plane, it is not safe or wise to be calm all the time. The daily 3 support nervous system flexibility, so that when something is scary we can feel and notice the movement into a defense state, support ourselves back to ventral and then do the self inquiry needed to support whatever it is that needs changing. This is especially true in relationships, a "calm" all the time relationship is probably one where the people are in a fairly disassociated state. In a relationship with two people with regulated nervous systems there will be an ongoing experience of rupture and repair with self inquiry supporting if/when boundaries or changes to the relationship are necessary. For example, let's say a person calls me and when we talk, I consistently feel confused, nauseous and shaky. I agree to things I don't want to and then feel disoriented for several days following. I support myself in real time with saying that I need to end the conversation and ask if they are willing to. When they continue talking, I give myself permission to hang up. After months of this recurring, I do the self inquiry to discover that I do not have the skills to speak with this person on the phone. I decide to let them know that I plan to continue our communication by email rather than phone. This is a situation where I cannot legally end this relationship, but if this wasn't the case I would decide to end it. The emails continue to result in some nervous system defense response so I prepare myself in advance with some exercises before opening the emails, waiting until a time when I feel resourced to read them, and never respond earlier than 24 hours so that I have time to support my nervous system before trying to formulate a response.